As some of you already know, during those last few years I went through a self-transformation Renaissance. This meant I had to let go of some habits, which were not serving me or my growth and evolution. Some of them were dragging me backwards, while others were simply not needed. So getting rid of those habits seemed like the conscious thing to do.
Many years prior, I had already let go of more shallow, ego-driven things such as losing interest in conflict, competing, comparing, and judging — myself or others.
On Not Judging Others and Psychological Projection is a related article. So this, one could say, is a second wave of detachment.
There are also the more thorough introspective, philosophical pieces,
Who Are We? as well as
My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence.
1- Drugs
It wouldn’t be right if drugs are not mentioned in this list-article. After self-medicating for years using all sorts of chemicals and plants, I finally realised that I do not
need drugs to be happy or cool or whatever.
Drugs, however, could be occasional tools for altering our states of consciousness and for expanding our perspective. But when it becomes a need, like the case with addictive drugs, this is when one should rethink their life’s priorities.
Opiated Then Hatin’ It is a recent piece about the matter.
Addiction Talk: My Correspondence With a 31-Year-Old Reader Before He Passed Away
is another.
So, the number one thing I got rid of is the need to take drugs.
2- Saying the Word ‘Hate’
I am not exactly sure what had fuelled this new habit. I just simply realised that ‘hate’ is quite a heavy negative word and that it is usually overused.Ever since childhood, “I hate people who do this”. “I hate that vegetable.” “I hate this, I hate that.” We hear and use the word so often that it sort of loses its original meaning. But when you think about it, it’s a whiny thing to say; it’s a childish emotion, which essentially stems from a mix of fear and ignorance. Why let something outside of you take control and get you to the point of hating? There is no reason to be disempowered in such a way.What I might ‘hate’ are child-molesters, animal-abusers, women-beaters, rapists and the likes. Though I do not go around stating it. Because, when you realise that in this dual universe darkness will always exist, you are freed from the need to hate it. You may not agree with it, but you accept its existence, making you less prone to reaching that ‘hate’ emotion.The only way to deal with evil in this world is to accept it. That’s the only way to set yourself free from the darkness. Because, again, darkness will never vanish; for that’s how the cosmos is balanced.We do not fight the darkness, we light a candle.You see, words as man-made symbols have distinct frequencies, which have the ability to alter our consciousness and create our reality. Just like magic, hence “to spell”. ‘Hate’ happens to be a strong low-frequency word — describing a passionately intense emotion — and I’m doing great by kicking it out of my vocabulary and therefore also reality.
3- Watching T.V. and Following the News
This one is a major game-changer. You actually have time, clarity, and energy to do more constructive things. I don’t read or listen or watch the news now. What I do, however, is create my own headlines — my own reality. You know it’s called
Mass Media and T.V
Programming for a reason.
Checking my Facebook feeds to find who got killed where and what went wrong how eventually
gets too much if one wants to live a
conscious life. I had stopped
watching T.V six years ago and that was one of the best decisions I have
taken
in my life. Unfortunately, social media is now starting to play the same
role... propagating fear and negativity. Check Are You Addicted To The News? to know the reason behind this fact.
Well, thanks but no thanks. I
don’t deny such things exist in this dual world, but, I
willingly choose to live away from the low vibrations of World Affairs.
4- Cooking Every Day
When moving to Canada I was regaining my health after many years of poor diet and a toxic lifestyle. So I did care a lot about food since I had missed it — the taste, the smell, the variety, the colours, the natural feeling of hunger. Cooking became a new discovery regarding nutrition; yet I also I fell in love with the creative part of it.
However, after yet again relocating to the U.S later, I realised that I don’t need full meals every single day. Now a salad is a meal, an avocado is a meal, yoghurt with nuts and honey is also one. Naturally, I lost two waist sizes in a few months and felt better than ever. More about how it occurred is covered in the article with the mainstream title
How I Dropped Two Waist Sizes in a Few Months.
5- Trying to “Wake People Up”
Ah! When we open our eyes and see beyond all the illusions we’re surrounded by, we usually feel compelled, out of care, to open the eyes of others. But in reality, that’s not how it works. Everyone wakes at their own pace and that’s how it should be. Forcing it will never work. In fact, it can reverse the process and make people reject all notions of ‘awakening’.
Now, I don’t attempt to convince anyone with anything; neither do I attempt to change their minds. And what peace of mind have I gained.
The following quotes helped me overcome that compulsion to assume what’s best for others — despite remaining a challenge is some cases.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
― Rumi
“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If
you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all
that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have
to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
― Lao Tzu
“Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new
awareness. Your job is to simply do your work -- Sacredly, Secretly, and
Silently -- and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear,’ will
respond.”
― The Arcturians
6- Killing Insects
Teach
your children that whenever a mosquito bites them or a fly lands on
their food, they are only trying to feed and survive. This is the
natural order of things in Life. There is nothing personal about it and
there is no reason to freak out or to curse the insects.
This may seem a tad odd to some. But yeah, you read that right: No killing insects that I find at home, or anywhere else of course. When I have to, I catch and release them instead.
Living
in a bungalow by the beach means the occasional visit from our cousins,
the insects. I have written before on how a fly stuck in a room
will always cooperate with us if we want to kick it out than if you want
to kill it. Because it wants to live, it’s mere instinct. The same goes for other types of insects.
With that in mind, in those past several months I have given new lives to several moths,
butterflies, spiders, ants, three mosquitoes, a bee among a few other species I
never even knew existed. It sincerely is the last
thing on my mind now is to reach for a
repellent or a shoe whenever I bump into an insect. Because all sentient beings deserve to live in freedom.
You can check my earlier pieces about ants
Here,
Here, and
There. Others are about
Reviving a Drowning Bee and
Befriending a Flying Insect.
7- Worrying and Overthinking
They do not work. They create problems that were never there and drain our energy. Truly, they are like the measles. Yet, most people either live in the past or in the future. Those who dwell on the past are depressed; those who overthink the future are anxious. Only a few are able to enjoy their Here and Now; only them find peace of mind.
That said, dropping the worrying and overthinking was a preliminary step towards my peace and happiness. It is of significance to note that this healthy
“not-giving-a-fuck
” attitude is not solely about being care-free, but rather it’s about prioritising the things one cares about.
8- Driving
Uhu. After 17 years of daily driving and traffic and parking, I dropped the car. In Toronto, I was using subways and street cars; here in Venice I use the bike and Uber; and whenever I visit Egypt, it’s walking, cabs, and Uber as well. So not only do I save money on gas and parking, and avoid all that headache, but I now run on fat instead of money, which keeps one healthy and free.
Whenever wanting to go somewhere far, Uber is always there. If I need more, renting a car now costs $15 per day, true story.
9- Controlling the Non-variables
In the Tao Te Ching, the renowned ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu spoke of Wu Wei, which literally translates into “non-doing” or “non-action”. Wu Wei is a substantial concept in Taoism/Daoism describing a seemingly paradoxical state of spontaneity called “effortless action”; how one learns to not try. Because that is when what you seek and what seeks you find each other. It is when the fun begins. The principle is equally essential to Confucianism.
Wu Wei doesn’t necessarily mean to do nothing, but rather the doing becomes non-reactive. The action stems from responding instead of reacting. Just like nature
― without forcing it, everything is eventually accomplished.
“
By not dominating, the Master leads.”
You see, we can only control the variables in our lives, but that’s it. How the universe unfolds with its causes and effects is
que sera sera. As mentioned in point 7, obsessing about that which is gone or that which we know nothing of cannot take us too far.
Now, I taught myself how to be flexible and allow things unfold rather than resist or interfere with them.
I do so by flowing with life while trusting my inner intents. This means accepting that uncertainty and the unknown are fundamental parts of life... and death. Existence become much simpler then.
The Significance of Letting Go is another earlier piece about the matter.
Letting Go of Getting Offended and Taking Things Personally is one more. And lastly, and since we’ve mentioned it,
Why We Should Not Fear Death is an additional article.
10-
You probably expected a tenth point since that’s how list-articles usually look like in mainstream media, or almost everywhere else for that matter. Well, I’m
rad like that and I choose to leave it empty.
Seriously, number 10 was left empty for you to add your own. Everyone of us has something(s) they know down deep inside they need to let go of. A memory, a habit, a relationship, whatever it is, there is no healing without letting go.
The thing is, it is only you who can let go. It is not someone else or outside factors; it is you who can set yourself free. For essentially, you are your own saviour as you are your own victim; the rest are mere excuses. Simply, because only you have that power. And you’re one decision away from changing any path that you’re on.
Despite all what was said, reckon that there is more to life than happiness. For it comes and goes and remains temporary. Happiness is a state of mind, hence trying to chase or seek it outside of oneself
― as a goal or destination
― rarely if ever works. Conversely, truth, peace of mind, gratitude, empathy, and perhaps above all, love may then lead to happiness rather than the other way round.
“Let go or be dragged.”
— Zen Proverb
EDIT 2024:If this article was written today, I would have changed the title to Things I Got
Rid Of To Become More At Peace. Because throughout these past years I
came to learn even more that there is more to life than mere joy. Happiness is not
a goal to hope for or a destination to reach. If we’re looking for
happiness outside of us, likely we’ll never find it. Happiness is a
state of consciousness; a byproduct of our inner being that includes elements like
health and gratitude. So one cannot aim to be constantly happy. What a
shallow bore would that be. Just like a heartbeat, in life we need the
ups as much as we need the downs... and everywhere in between.
 |
When we smile to life, it smiles back. Sometimes not right back,
but eventually it does. |
ALSO VIEW:
Who Are We?
My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence 
