One Lucky Soul: Personal Questions I’m Often Asked and Their Answers

Personal Questions I’m Often Asked and Their Answers by Omar Cherif, One Lucky Soul

I have previously shared that the fun and liberating thing about having your own publication is that you can write about anything you wish. From the metaphysics of Death, the relationship between Genius and Insanity, the existential Who Are We? and Codependency, to Bidets, Words I Made Up, Why Cats Give Massages, and erotic Memoirs of My Incognito Friend. That is precisely ― and eclectically ― what I choose to do on One Lucky Soul. Now let us get started with a new creation.

For the last six years of my life I have been living in different countries, far away from where I was born and raised. This meant I have been surrounded by people who didn’t know me, or know of me, or remember me from childhood or from previous jobs. All of them only got to know the new ‘me’, some of whom occasionally ask me personal questions.

Then there are people who have known me for much longer. I went to school with some, university with others, and worked with some others. To a portion of them, the new ‘me’ may be slightly confusing. So them, too, ask me personal questions every once in a while.

Since these questions are somewhat repetitive, and since my answers rarely change ― at least until now ― I thought it would be an interesting idea to write both down herein.

1- How do you sustain yourself?

This is the most asked question, so it has the longest answer.

Sometimes I receive it through private messages from curious readers. Other times, it’s an ex-colleague or someone I had recently met. Depending on who the asker is, it’s usually coupled with “If you don’t mind me asking”. I never mind. Actually I like to answer.

For some of them, the question seems to stem from pure curiosity. For others, curiosity is still involved, but it’s because they are personally flirting with the idea of following their passion ― often includes art ― and leaving their jobs behind ― mainly corporate ― or they had recently done so.

Of course the full question would be: How do you sustain yourself without a ‘job’? [Knowing that I have been living ‘abroad’ for those past years, which naturally entails more spending]

Well, the easy answer is that I rent my apartment in Cairo, which I am remain highly grateful to own, and usually this covers rental whether in Canada or the U.S. Note that it’s a full flat while where I reside in North America is often just a bedroom in a shared house or a hotel. As a matter of fact, my entire rented place in Toronto, including the balcony, kitchen, and bathroom was smaller than my bedroom in Egypt. But I was happier.

There are also some savings with reasonable monthly interests to be added to the rent.

Other than that, I currently make little money through my art — whether it’s writing, editing, translating, photography, or blogging. However, I published my first article less than three and a half years ago, for 50 CA$ I might add, while began seriously working on the blog about two years ago. So my artistic journey is still taking its first nascent steps. For some bewitching reason, though, I have an inner hunch that Magick awaits, which is a great feeling that pushes me forwards.

This optimistic vision is probably related to how passionate I am towards my relatively new vocation ― something I have never experienced throughout ten long years of working in jobs for multinational corporations, which I never genuinely care about. I recall checking my watch so many times throughout the day while counting the hours until release time, almost neurotically.

What made me fine with breaking up with the security of the paycheque is the realisation that the key to financial balance largely lays in our spending priorities. My new minimalist lifestyle revolves around dropping the car, so I don’t pay gas or parking; rarely ever going out to pubs, clubs, or parties because I have done and redone my share; also not buying anything I do not need.

I equally came to the conclusion that uncertainty with a chance of happiness will always win over certainty with guaranteed unhappiness. So that was how I chose to deal with life ― to take a bold risk into the unknown.

You can read about the few days I was stranded in Venice Beach with a dollar & thirty four cents in me pocket and still felt fine on Here.

Now, let us further ponder this money-work relationship since it affects a significant number of people and their happiness, which makes it notably important.

The meaning of the word ‘work’ seems ambiguous. To work, the verb, means to do something. If you are convinced by that something and can be fully and passionately immersed into it, then you’re one of the lucky ones. If you’re not, then you’re part of the majority.

Work also means to create. The value of that which you create may only be significant to you, but it honestly doesn’t matter. In art for example, there is a certain thrill in reliving our own conceptions; in leaving something that wasn’t there before; in being co-creators of the Universe.

When you consistently keep doing that something, out of repetition, you become good at it. So you keep doing it more and get even better. Again, if you’re doing it with love and passion, then that’s a big plus and you’ll likely go places in Life. That’s how some of us simply see it.

As such, ‘work’ doesn’t necessarily have to be for someone as one can always be independent, like the case of artists, adventurers, explorers... and mystics. It could be more of a journey, a vocation, a life, rather than a mere job. And money or applause aren’t the destination.

Likewise, work does not have to be from 9 to 5 or in shifts. It equally does not, or should not, have to be something we abhor yet still do to keep up with the system. Apart from being a form of slavery, these kinds of soul-sucking jobs are mental suicide.

On a parallel note, I have noticed that not many from the older generations can relate to what working independently means. They were all workers of some sort; one way or another they were part of the system ― a certain institution or organisation. And I was too, for a full decade, before realising that it wasn’t for me. Though I had always sensed I had a different calling.

All the people who lived full, meaningful, inspiring lives held that in order to excel and shine, one has to follow the path of their heart. If we’re working because we feel that we must, just like a homework, then we can’t really go far.

Then again, due to our diversity as human beings, some do not mind being part of an institution or organisation, something bigger than themselves. They may actually even enjoy it; for it makes them feel safe. For others, not being part of that much larger entity may induce feelings of anxiety and restlessness, which are linked to their own self-worth among society.

It seems that what makes the majority of people not look at money and possessions in such an immaterialistic way is the mere fact that the traditional emphasis on external rewards such as grades, report cards, and gold stars is indoctrinated into us since birth. Later in life with employment, they are exchanged with raises, promotions, and incentives. Yet the concept of carrot dangling remains the same. Whether it’s through our parents, teachers, bosses, even religion, we are constantly reminded that external rewards can induce interest and participation in something we may have no initial interest in. Out of repetition, some end up becoming conditioned, believing this common ideology to be true, which is a grave, multifaceted problem that is significantly hard to decondition from. Because people become dependent on money while getting highly attached to the safety and security it seemingly represents. In fact, being addicted to money is an actual phenomenon.

Another more realistic reason many do not regard the money issue from the immaterialistic angle is that they need it to eat, as they need housing and clothing. Beyond all philosophising and ideals and sweet-sounding words, food and shelter are basic universal needs for survival. I often wonder how my views would have been different if I were not fortunate enough to have been born with these essentials around. Without the availability of the bare minimum, people’s inner beings become tuned to a survival mode frequency. Then art, creativity, having a hobby, perhaps even passion as a whole tend to take a backseat. Echoing with the saying: Money is not important... as long as you have enough.

If we think about it, we’ll find that whatever we call ‘work’ nowadays usually has negative connotation. The acquired meaning of the word came to imply doing something we do not enjoy or want to do, something unnatural ― again, think homework. That is why we are given money to do it, you see.

Mark Twain wrote that work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Alan Watts equally shared that This is the real secret of life ― to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.

Truly, it’s how we look at it.

All that said, I hold that if you’re good enough, money and abundance will come to you; perhaps not too much money, but enough to lead a decent life. No need to sell yourself or exchange your reality for a role and some papers. But if you must, look at it as a temporary situation, knowing that you are much more than just you job. These views are specifically why some think of me as a Bohemian dreamer with a poetic way of looking at things. Maybe I am, but as long as I’m healthy and happy while keeping busy doing what I love, which is mainly writing and just being, then I’ll be just fine. Or so it goes.

2- How did you become who you are today?

This one is either asked by new friends, old acquaintances, or readers. A portion of them don’t do it in a straight forward way, possibly out of shyness. But I know they want to find out what’s the ‘secret’ to my positive, free-spirited life attitude. Or sometimes, they seem interested to know what happened?

Well, the secret is... there is no secret. I had to ‘deal’ with this bonkers dude in the photo since I was 19, and only by 34 have I succeeded in fully accepting him as he is. When I did that, everything changed for the better. Simply because instead of trying to fit in, I have learned to embrace the madness; I recognised and admitted it, à la Carl Jung. This step has allowed me to stop lying to myself, which keeps me truthful and grounded. Now I love the person that I am because I fought hard to become him.

Dealing included overcoming drug addiction, which is one of the most enlightening experiences one could go through. It is an actual subtle blessing because it is through which you know yourself ― including the Higher Self; through which you conquer and master the ego. Once this is achieved, you become fearless. From then on you know you can do anything you put your mind into as life is transformed before your very eyes.

The Kingdom of Heaven is truly within us, you won’t find it elsewhere.

More details can be found on Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier, My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence as well as on Opiated Then Hatin’ It.

3- Don’t you miss meat (and sugar)?

Not really. I think eating meat (red and white) at least six times a week for almost 34 years was quite enough for me not to want to go back to this lifestyle after quitting beginning of 2014 before considerably reducing my intake. Even though the final three years included lots of marinating and cooking and grilling, but I think this was one great way to say goodbye to such feeding habit.

Dropping the meat made me feel healthier; I lost two sizes in waist, I feel better, breathe better, sleep better, and poo better. So my decision was based on a conscious choice rather than a spiritual one. However, in an effort to never become too religious about certain views, and because I enjoy shocking my digestive ― and nervous ― system, every once in a while I do it on purpose to eat meat; the same goes for sugar, which I gave up way before. Obviously it wasn’t just the meat, but rather, these results were due to a total lifestyle change.

For meats, after being an essential part of my diet the first three decades of my life, I began to fluctuate between rarely and occasionally. Meaning, between once every few months to once a week. As a result, my attention went towards all the insane varieties of non-meat products, and they are many, so you can get as creative as possible. I also consume lots of seafood. This all contributed to the fact that I was always wary of using labels such as Vegetarian or Pescatarian.

As for the sugar, it remained a treat enjoyed once every few months. I still eat fruits and drink fresh juices. So what I actually mean by dropping the sugar is desserts, cakes, chocolate, ice creams, candies, sodas, etc. Speaking of, Kicking That Sweet Habit: Why and How to Drop Sugar is another article about why and how to drop sugar from your diet.

On a parallel note, it is noteworthy to consider the following: Once individuals become too ‘religious’ about a certain belief or reality tunnel they subconsciously lose sight of the bigger picture. Whether it’s faith, atheism, patriotism, veganism, cross-fittanism among a multitude of other isms, many teachers or followers of such schisms often cannot help but become dogmatic to a considerable degree. The key is to do whatever you feel like doing without the need to shove it down others’ throats; and those who vibrate at similar frequencies will eventually find you.

More recently, red meat is consumed once every two weeks, chicken maybe every 10 days, and seafood about twice a week. The rest is all vegetarian food. Bearing in mind how many calories I burn and how much I move, this balance seems more convenient

4- Have you ever really loved a girl/woman?

This question resurfaced a few days ago while chatting with my parents about past relationships. My short answer is: I loved them all, more or less.

The longer answer is: Of course I loved some more than others. I also convinced myself a couple of times that this was maybe it. Once I even put lots of effort to make a certain relationship work, but it didn’t. The reality is, to spend the rest of our entire lives with only one person is a magnanimous decision. So let us say that I still haven’t found this femme spéciale yet. But I remain totally fine without one.

Two related articles include much more Why I Choose to Remain a Non-Dad for Now — Reflections on Being Childless and Things I Miss From Being in a Relationship, as well as the less personal When Choosy Men Reject Women.

5- Don’t you get bored?

Finally that one is usually a response to one of two things: When I say that I “work/play” all day, every day, mainly from home. And when I talk about being single for periods of time at this age ― or still unmarried, more likely.

The answer is: Definitely not. Only boring people get bored. One simply does not get bored from doing things they love. It’s actually the complete opposite; we get bored from doing things we don’t feel like doing, things we have no passion for.

As for being totally fine with being single, first, I absolutely love my solitude. It is when I create, which is what I mainly do in life now. It is also when I recharge and reground myself, which is as essential for my well-being as it is for creativity, even closely intertwined. Without said alone time, it becomes almost impossible to get creative; let alone flow into The Zone that usually results in la crème de la crème.

Second, Rumi said: Give me more wine or leave me alone. In Sufism, wine is a metaphor for many good things like ecstasy and beauty. For the point of peopling interacting is to learn some things from each other; to fall in love and grow. This is my philosophy concerning, not only dating, but all kinds of relationships with others. If they have anything to add to my life, even if just smiles, then it could be worth the time and effort. But if they don’t, then I’m certainly much better off without them.

Still, however, since we are social beings, too much isolation is not enjoyable. Following remaining alone for too long, I happen to miss human interactions and talking face to face. I tend to miss women’s perfume just as well. So once again, balance seems to be the key.