The Joy of Giving

The joy of sharing your joy with others is more fulfilling than the one you get to enjoy by yourself.

The above was intuitively written many moons ago before becoming part of OLS Reflections Einunddreißig in 2016. As I sometimes do when revisiting earlier writings that stand the test of time, and perhaps as a way to reach deeper truth, the following introspective piece is a further elaboration inspired by a chain of interactions.


A couple of weeks ago while standing outside by the gate of the house savouring the morning coffee, I could see a semi-truck carrying all sorts of colourful items parked at the end of the street. The vibrant looking content wasn’t the usual fruits or home appliances seen here in Dahab, enticing me to go investigate from up close. The couple of Sa’idi guys from South of Egypt were mainly selling clothes along with some towels and kids’ toys. Rather than turn around and leave after our short introductory chit-chat, seeing Nadia standing by I stopped. She’s a smart 7-year-old Bedouin friend and neighbour who was probably around 4 when first moving in. 

Every now and then she would ask about my mother by name — after meeting her few times over the years.

 

“Get yourself whatever you want from here,” I blurted out while pointing at the merchandise. Somewhat shy yet not too much, she approached the back of the vehicle to choose a petty wheeled cane plastic toy. Since most I had been giving her until then were fruits, she was probably confused. Encouraging her to choose a clothing item, she picked a two-piece panda tracksuit/pyjamas. Out there with us was her grandmother who witnessed the whole event unfold. Out of decency, I felt compelled to ask permission from the woman, which she gave me. We then made sure the outfit fits Nadia and that was that.


A heart-warming thing then took place. The main Sa’idi vendor seemed so moved by the random act of kindness, he asked if he could hug me as a Thank You. True story. So here we were both in our galabeyas looking how we look and hugging compassionately mid street under the Sinai’s sun. Ah, a Brotherhood of Man.  

 

Walking back home I felt so high and out there with my head in the cosmos, the flip flops were barely touching the ground. Why? Well, mainly because this time the kid didn’t get the usual mere banana or even 10 Pounds; but it’s more substantial, something useful and practical and warm for her to use and enjoy.

Maybe the unlikely and unusually random hug from the man also added some Serotonin — our natural antidepressant — and Oxytocin — the Love/Bonding/Cuddle hormone — among other chemicals to the equation. Ha. It truly was quite a joyfully intoxicating feeling. 

Another point to consider is that I don’t have kids. So this occasional selfless giving to children may be the closest I’ll feel to being a parent. Nevertheless, the instinct, apparently, seems to be still very much alive. Obviously this is the norm for most parents and grandparents, even removing ‘occasional’.

For instance, and having mentioned bananas, when first moving to the Bohemian town that is Dahab the Bedouin children living on the same street began asking me for ‘Chocolata’, including Nadia. I would whimsically respond: “Sugar makes you fat and slow and weak. Eat fruits instead.” In the following few weeks I began getting extra fruits to share with them in hope to entice them. And bananas remain the perfect gift because their short life. Now that the kids and I have become friends, whenever they see me in the street they would childishly shout: “Eddiny moza!” — give me a banana!” Other times I would be the one playfully shouting: “Mafeesh moza? — there is no banana?”

Similar fatherly sentiments appear to be at play regarding Abanoub and Roufael, the 8 and 11-year-old boys who live on the beach and who come join me when drumming. After showing them the basics, one day they came all excited to share that while drumming on their buckets a foreign woman passing by gave each 20 EGP. For the boys that is quite something: No only did they make money doing an activity they enjoy, but they also never asked for it. Ahh, planting seeds. Maybe one day in the future they’ll have their own circles.

However, since I don’t interact with the innocence of children everyday, whenever it occurs my nervous system notices the changes in psyche and body, making a thing out of it. Simply observing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviour in the midst of these changes in consciousness can be highly educating and introspective. It is how we get to know our true inner selves. 

 

With kiddos in mind, Why I Choose to Remain a Non-Dad for Now — Reflections on Being Childless is an earlier rather personal piece delving head first into such a hot potato of a topic. But you know what? I’d love to have children one day. Two days max. Ba-Dum Tsss.   

Caregiving For My 86-Year-Old Uncle is one gentle article. 

The Bedouin kiddos (and now-teenagers) have been growing
day by day before my eyes

Back to the panda day, it was that simple humane interaction and the transcendental sensation it birthed that reminded me of the featured reflection about joy sharing. Also of a study I came across shortly after first expressing the sentiment, which showed that the act of spending money on others provides more happiness than spending it on yourself; that giving is more fulfilling than receiving. At first it may sound counter-intuitive, but it isn’t so.

Research by Harvard Business School has shown that people are happier when they give money to others. Think of the unique kind of anticipation when you offer someone a present compared to receiving one. This is what “buying happiness” could literally mean. 


In their book Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending, authors Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton explain how there are five key elements to being able to “buy happiness”:

• Buy Experiences. 

Research revealed that material purchases are less satisfying than vacations, trips, concerts. Well of course.

• Make it a Treat. 

Limiting access to our favourite things will make us keep appreciating them. Some probably already knew it. In my case, this one points to sushi — regarding legal substances that is, pff. And the fact that sushi is pricey and is enjoyed somewhat occasionally as a treat reinforce the whole dynamic we share. It’s like the cocaine of food. But indeed, even if you really love whatever it is, frequently or neurotically indulging in it happens to take away from the magic while considerably reducing the intensity or depth of the experience. Ask any addict about how tolerance is a bitch.

• Buy Time. 

Focusing on time over money leads to wiser purchases. This is quite close to experience. But time after all remains a man-made construct. For we may go to bed one night to never ever wake up. So there’s that. Time isn’t even linear, there’s also that — whether one can wrap their mind around it or not. 

• Pay Now, Consume Later. 

When we delay our consumption our enjoyment increases. Absolutely agree, though to a certain extent. Think of that moment when you finally indulge in that succulent delicacy, bottle of wine, bud among other substances you were able to hide from yourself or to keep for special occasions; mm, truly satisfying. For some actually, knowing they were able to save such a thing could be empowering. 



I add “certain extent” because sometimes saving turns to hoarding, through which the person tends to forget the inevitability of their mortality. So one has to be sure they still have time and energy to enjoy whatever they had been keeping for “tomorrow”, “special occasions”, or “old age”. It’s a fine line that keeps getting thinner with age. 

 



• And finally Invest in Others, the chief topic of this article. 

If you haven’t noticed already, it was shown that spending money on other people is more fulfilling than spending it on oneself. Why, you ask? Because it creates a sense of connection for us social animals, which is beneficial to our well-being. Remember that the next time you see someone in need… or just remember it in general. You can even test it yourself to see if it’s actually true.



One thing remains certain though, random acts of kindness are never wasted; and somehow they tend to come back to us — often in different forms.

In another BBC article Why Do We Spend So Much Money On Others?, Dunn, who is a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia points to an evolutionary explanation for our gift-giving

:

 

“There is a reason we feel joy when we give to others; our tendency to share resources led to the survival of our species. Doing so makes us feel like we have autonomy and the ability to make a difference to someone else.” “It can enhance feelings of self-confidence and perhaps most importantly, create this feeling of connection that seems to be really crucial to our well-being”. Adding, “We think it is a critical building block of human nature and underlies our success as a species.”

 

Knowing all that, I began to notice the phenomenon more often while observing myself in the act. Whether giving to humans or animals — mainly dogs, cats, and more recently goats — this “thinking of someone other than yourself” can be profoundly satisfying, enriching, and meaningful. The sense of compassionate empathy you feel in your every nerve ending becomes intoxicating, sometimes contagious. 

For it unplugs you from the me-myself-and-I self-focused ego trip many get stuck in. It’s when the mind or entire being gets rid of the ‘iness’, even if momentarily.

Now, helping in general is always great of course. There is a good reason why giving and charity are spread throughout most religions and even philosophies. But when giving is done voluntarily for its own sake without expecting anything in return — especially when the receiver can never repay the giver — the act turns into true bliss: Pure unattached unconditional Love. And there is no price for such innocence and simplicity. 

Devoid of connotations to religious dogma, this love is given out without expectations. It is neither intended to please a certain god or deity nor to avoid any fear of [divine] retribution. Neither to go to Heaven nor to avoid Hell. The motivation to act here is Intrinsic. Unlike extrinsic motivation, it stems from within; it is self-determined. Intrinsic means it involves engaging in a behaviour because it is personally rewarding; essentially, performing an act for its own sake rather than for some separable, external consequence like reward or pressure... or fear. The Kingdom of Heaven is already within you.

Kindness, Ladies and Gentlemen, is a universal language. And similar to writing and drumming for me, acts of kindness are their very own reward. Not only is it a gift to others, but it is also a gift to oneself — a reminder of our own humanity.

Being unattached and unconditional, kindness is no business transaction this way. Also, giving does not necessarily have to involve material things. Sharing a compliment or word of encouragement, a poem or joke, a perspective, mental space, vibrational frequency, or simply a smiley eye-contact are all kind gestures, spiritual even. The very simple notion of helping make the existence of a living being a little better/easier or a little less miserable in any way, shape, or form renders one grateful for the opportunity. Noble is the attempt to alleviate the suffering in this world, to make it a slightly better place before departing.

I have noticed time and again, when these acts involve older people, children, or animals, the interactions somehow become even warmer. Likely because they are the most gentle, sensitive, vulnerable. The first two are reflections of one’s future and past, while animals, well, a reflection of previous incarnations in the evolutionary cycle. 

 

In a A Dollar & Thirty Four Cents in Me Pocket and Feeling Fine (2015), about few days of temporary poverty endured in Venice Beach, I recount that there is a peculiar sense of liberation when giving someone the last money you have in your pockets [at a certain time]: because you know they need it more than you do. Travelling, after all, is the best of teachers.

There is also the more academic and objective From Hebrew ‘Tzedakah’ to Arabic ‘Sadaqah’: A Linguistic Tale of Origin of Charity and Righteous Giving in Judaism and Islam (2021).

Few days after receiving the panda, Nadia was biking in the street when she adorably came to show off her new attire. She had three other girls along, all neighbours from our same street and all between 8 and 11-years old. While standing there with them, a cheeky one mentioned wanting a similar gift for herself. This led to promising to get them some clothes from the same guy. To which another girl wittily replied while pointing to the right that the vendor is two streets away right now. Haa. I promised them all that next week we’ll get to it. But I also made them promise to “keep it a secret” for now, as not to tell the entire street’s kids gang who are mostly boys, because they are 17 or 20 of them [some shown in the photo above] and it will create considerable havoc in the neighbourhood. Sharing is certainly caring, but they ought to be reminded that I’m not really Santa Claus.

Right on the day this article was to be published, January 1st 2025, I heard a knock on the door by two of the Bedouin girls. They were here to inform 3amo Omar that the clothes vendor is back and parked right outside. Oh well, let us get it over with then. They were two different guys this time, yet each girl still got her two-piece outfit and that was that. Some of their older family members were out there by the semi-truck checking the merchandise, all women in traditional Bedouin attire; in addition to few of the neighbouring boys who, as expected, came to ask for their own “badla” or suit. “This time the girls, next time InshaaAllah,” Santa Claus replied. “Happy New Year”. No impromptu hug this round though. 

Colourful Steve with his signature hands in the air mid circle and Pauli Paul
in a yellow t-shit on the left in the below capture and a beanie in the above, along
with Dan, P.J, Eddi. Also my djembe in front of the white wooden foldable chair,
VBDC 2015/2016

Around the same time, I received uplifting messages from two dear friends from the other side of the world in L.A, Steve Engel and Paul Freeman. Each separately in their own way, they randomly thanked me for Full Lunacy Drum Circle by One Lucky Soul — Dockweiler and for keeping it up for all these years, even when not physically around. Both of them were welcoming, supporting, and encouraging on my first days at the Venice Beach Drum Circle; they were actually also ones of the first few attendees when the idea of calling it Full Lunacy while linking it to One Lucky Soul and making a thing out of it came to being in 2016. They were there every month until I left end of 2018... then carried on afterwards.

 

“Thank you for all you do, we miss you” was their message that made me smile from the inside. This was not their first time to express their thanks; yet being on the receiving end, and having just gone through the Nadia happening, I could experience first-hand the power of kindness and cherish it too. Here as a simple word of appreciation.  

Motivationally, until today both of them still go to Full Lunacy at Dockweiler Beach [and the VBDC] to drum and dance. More regularly with Paul — who is in his 70s — than Steve — who is in his early 80s and has recently moved a little further. What inspiration they are! A big warm Thank You to these two fun, cool, kind, young-at-heart spirits for being who they are and for the constant support. I sure miss them too.

Both men are equally aware of the Dahab sister gathering that followed after I moved to Sinai in 2022. Which brings us to another more frequent message received by several new acquaintances here: “Thank you for bringing people together”. Ahh. It’s like every cell in my body rejoices as it turns into a happy smiley face bopping around the microcosm in sheer bewildered ecstasy. It feels great to be adding something meaningful to this small community; and this time it happens to be in my country of birth.

Truthfully, when you do something out of pure passion without seeking any sort of reward, encountering the occasional simple moments of appreciation can be utterly, substantially satisfying and, certainly, still very much rewarding. Like a Zen koan, that’s the paradoxical part.

Speaking of VBDC icons, another beautiful friend was the late Lonnie Boyd Jones Sr. who was in his mid 80s when we first met. Him, too, was kind and welcoming on these first days when I still didn’t know anyone. In fact, he was the first — and maybe only one — to notice that I subconsciously count when drumming; something I had no idea I was doing right until then. Sweet Lonnie even made it to Full Lunacy several times before passing away in 2021. A Random Call That Hit Me In The Feels
 is an ode to our friendship despite the 50-year difference. May He Rest In Love.
 
May you always value and cherish the simple little things in Life. For they make a significant difference and hence are the most essential. That includes intergenerational and cross-cultural friendships.


Carrying on with the little things, something splendidly cool started happening during the last three Full Lunacy Drum Circle — Dahab gatherings, as it had started to happen at Dockweiler once it organically picked up and more people knew about it: When I finally decide to leave — whether at midnight or 10 — some attendees are still there. You see, a host or organiser usually leaves last, but then at some point after 6+ hours I’m rather done. However, leaving them there around the fire seems poetically symbolic as well as sentimental. It’s like passing the torch, mayhap thereby also inspiring others to have their own time with the full moon and among nature, possibly their own drum circles, too [Abanoub and Roufael]. One more simple thing that makes my heart sing and drum and dance while biking home afterwards.

Intergenerational friendships are beautiful and educational as niece Shamsita likely agrees with Skuncle O, as do grandparents like Steve, Paul, and Lonnie

To end this piece by circling back to love, daily life, and animals we can safely say that “The joy of sharing your joy with others is more fulfilling than the one you get to enjoy by yourself” did indeed stand the test of time.

The more you observe, the more things become more apparent. For instance, the level of  delight achieved when sharing certain foods with the cats is directly proportional to the value of the food. That is, while eating I may sometimes share pieces of chicken or seafood with both indoor cats — while the rest are for the two outdoor ones. From time to time, and to circle again to sushi, I would share tiny pieces of salmon with them taken from a single Hosomake. It may sound absurd to give sushi to animals, but it is one piece they share. This is when you come to realise that sharing is not just caring, but it’s also loving. 



 

Other times I would catch myself choosing tuna salad over potato salad because the cats will have a ball. Again here, they have their usual daily meals while the tiny pieces of tuna or salmon (or whatever) are simply given as treats; two small chunks divided into 4 or 5 individual pieces are the treat. You know when it comes to food, nit-picky cats are certainly not dogs. This same thinking of someone other than yourself echoes with Choosing a dish with bone leftovers while eating out so you can take it back to your dog(s). Or taking the leftovers of your friends.

Slightly different dynamics are at play regarding feeding the neighbouring goats. But when you find pleasure in mindfully keeping watermelons, cantaloups, bananas leftovers, cutting them into smaller individual pieces, before heading out to the street to hand-feed a tribe of 15 adults, you soon realise the priceless joy is just the same.

 

Certainly, there is much love and beauty in the act of sharing something you value, enjoy, and only indulge in on occasions with anyone other than yourself. One may even say that it’s the thought that is more substantial than the actual items shared. But again, they are not all materials. Other shareable things remain free, like a word of encouragement and a smile. Whatever they are, the capacity for kindness and gentleness is truly priceless. It is what strengthen the bonds and connections of our relationships with the world as well as everyone in it. And as we have seen, it tends to revolve around the simple little things in life... figuratively and oftentimes literally as well.

Love Is The Way. And true Love is when the well-being of others is as valuable as our own.

ALSO VIEW:

 

Dance With Your Demons 

 

The Parable



 of the Nugget of Truth

The Parable Of The Cow: You Are Not Your Thoughts

From Hebrew ‘Tzedakah’ to Arabic ‘Sadaqah’: A Linguistic Tale of Origin of Charity and Righteous Giving in Judaism and Islam
 

On Not Judging Others and Psychological Projection

Caregiving For My 86-Year-Old Uncle

 
Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer

What Is Fear of Abandonment and How to Overcome It

Codependency: What Being Addicted to Someone Means

What Is Overcompensation?

The Significance of Letting Go

To Forgive Is Not To Reconcile

Opiated Then Hatin’ It

 

The Intertwining of Pain and Pleasure

 

Change Is The Only Constant

Who Are We?

My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence

 

A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum

 

Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier

On Love and Attachment

Why We Should Not Fear Death 

The Intertwining of Pain and Pleasure

 

The Intertwining of Genius and Insanity

 

Why Cats Are Not Dogs

Things I Wish All Dog Owners Would Understand

 

 

 

Catching a Cheater and Rethinking What True Love is

A long time ago I was in a relationship with a girl who at some point began seeing another guy behind my back. I was told multiple times by different people that they had seen them together, yet I was reluctant to believe. I actually even doubted them as I was in denial.



During this time I sometimes began to pass by her house and ask the doorman if she was home. I’m not sure if the guy sympathised with me or what, but he used to tell me whenever that XYZ car would pass by her. Eventually he once asked me for porno magazines. True story. Obviously I delivered.

This memory had been deeply stored in my subconscious, because yesternight was the first time to think about it in maybe 20 years.

Not much later, I called her at home once — yes, before mobile phones — to be told that she was out. Well, to be exact, I let a girl friend call, since it was one of the parent who would pick up, and they did. Being the weekend, the girl had lied and said she was sick and staying home. So knowing the time she usually goes home, I left my three friends nearby 10 minutes earlier and went to hide behind a tree under her house.

Exactly on time, busted: I saw her on foot heading to the entrance of the building to be followed by the guy’s car which I already knew by then. That was the case because she let him drop her a tiny bit before so that no one sees her. Then Abra-Cadabra here was I materialising out of thin air right in front of her like a Ninja Dark Night. The remarkable thing was that I was so ecstatic of the success of my detective work, I took her to my buddies to share with them how I caught her. Perhaps this showing off was nothing but a defence mechanism by one hurt ego. I remember the girl was in such a shock, she was smiling all along. You know the nervous smile. So there we were both smiling while I recount the story to my friends. A bit of shouting and then I took her home.

Hilariously, the guy called me later on at home. He said there is nothing in-between them and blablabla. Yeah. I will likely never know what did actually transpire, but they were meeting in secrecy, so. 

Surprisingly, I didn’t leave her right then and there. I have no idea why or how. Well, maybe I do: It was a long-term relationship as it was also a kind of a love story. Despite being inexperienced teenagers, there was still a whole lot of passion and hormones and insecurities and expectations to deal with. In actual fact, I recall that one time I smashed my windshield with a single punch while fighting with her in the car. To let the insurance pay, I had to go issue a report from the police station, saying that some kids threw a rock at the car while I driving. Man! This was totally unlike me, yet it was still me.

So, yes, probably time was indeed needed before ending it all. It did happen some months later. 



As I matured, whenever coming across adults acting the same way I remember younger, foolish me and just shake my head in disbelief. Are they still there? I then feel grateful to have crossed that life stage all the way back then — almost a quarter of a century into the past. Truly, there is nothing like experience when it comes to learning. You can neither buy it nor study it. Paraphrasing Peter McWilliams: You must do; learn from the doing then [if you wish] teach from the knowing. A good reason experience remains the mother of all wisdom.

I still can’t believe how this memory had been repressed in such a way. As mentioned, this is the absolute first time to cross my mind. Let alone, put it into words.



The lesson younger me learned from this experience is to never get attached to a woman (or man) under the pretext of love. As such, my relationship philosophy from then on became: If you want to be with someone else, then please go. I want you to be happy, selflessly. If not with me, then without me. True love does not include getting jealous or being possessive; not even getting upset or hurt when one’s expectations are not met. 
 
For a truly a genuine connection, hence a successful relationship, the person you love must feel absolutely free. For what will be will be. 

And there never is a convincing reason to force things.

 
On that same note, more about the difference between Love and attachment can be found in this poetic article. Why I Choose to Remain a Non-Dad for Now — Reflections on Being Childless is another philosophical exposé with a self-explanatory title, which you may dig. Almost conversely, there is also this list-article: Things I Miss From Being in a Relationship.
 
Then on a parallel note, Codependency: What Being Addicted to Someone Means is a more psychological piece dealing with one type of dysfunctional relationship.

Ironically, said attitude was interpreted by later partners as “Don’t care” or as “Being cold”, which is not true. It is their own definition of love and care that needs rethinking. I was there myself yet chose to transcend all the drama and nonsense. You see, choosing not to be led by your emotions does not mean you’re cold or heartless; it means you’re wiser. 

When two decades later I happened to catch another girlfriend cheating, or trying to cheat more likely, older me then confidently — and smilingly — opened the door and told her: Please. Those two experiences remain the only ones of their kind.

This is not to say I never cheated myself, because I did. And I remain honest about it. In fact, following that early incident I mindlessly happened to cheat on the same girl as well — with a vengeance. I probably thought that I had a carte blanche to do whatever I did. Certainly, there are no winners in such cheating equation.
 
The good news is, when we mature we come to realise that cheating is not as cool as our younger selves used to think. Personally though, it took me more years and experimentation to reach such insight. I hold that I cheated because I could; rather than because I was not satisfied in the relationships. For all the thrill and excitement and rush and adrenaline resulting from doing something [dangerous] one shouldn’t be doing. Despite the fact that I rarely, if ever, went to look for such adventures they still, somehow, occurred.

The truth remains, if you’re not happy in a relationship, just leave; either remain single in the first place and enjoy the freedom or find someone else. As simple as that. It is certainly much healthier for you and them than remaining in dysfunctional relationships in which one or both partners are cheating. 

As stated multiple times, my current relationship philosophy which I do my best to embody is summarised into Rumi’s beautiful words: “Give me more wine or leave me alone.”     

In the very end, let us all take it from Droopy: You Know What? Cheaters Never Win. 

ALSO VIEW:

On Love and Attachment

When Selective Men Reject Women

Why I Choose to Remain a Non-Dad for Now — Reflections on Being Childless

Things I Miss From Being in a Relationship

Codependency: What Being Addicted to Someone Means

The Significance of Letting Go

What Is Fear of Abandonment and How to Overcome It

Different Shades of Passion

The Parable of the Cow: You Are Not Your Thoughts

To Forgive Is Not To Reconcile

Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier

Change Is The Only Constant

Funny Drug-Related Stories

Funny Drug-Related Stories 2
 
Funny Hotel-Related Stories
 
 

Sophia And The Djembefola

Look at this storyteller 


He bends it like Uri Geller
Kills it like Peter Seller


Owns it like Rockefeller


Now check that entertainer
Before she’d “Catcha Later”
A trainer in a trailer ain’t no traitor
Stronger everyday like Gloria Gaynor

Both lived a double life
Chasing the high off the nightlife
Numbing the pain, numbing the strife
 Both knew it was a nonlife

Then one day their souls met up
Her kindness filled his broken cup

While he became her guardian pup
A love story never to breakup

Now he can drum their story
With all the shame and glory 

Overcoming all the odds
Shining brightly like the gods

That’s how union breeds liberation
That’s how The Greats build a nation 

With love as its fuel
As the rule as the school 
A tool for the wise as a tool for the fool
More loving in the streets makes our life cool

With love comes understanding
Compassion, empathy, hugs and lotta hold-handing

Now the couple in-style has a little girl named Sunshine
Gifted with a smile that makes their souls intertwine


A reminder from up the line that true Love is divine
A state of being for each to find and define
Over a celestial prime meal and proverbial fine wine

We can almost hear him say before they dine at nine:

My Love is yours, Sophia, and your Love in mine

“Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotion know what it means to want to escape from these.”

― T. S. Eliot

*Dedicated to young daddy drummer and his little baby girl

ALSO VIEW:

 

خزعفرات ٢٥ قيراط 🌀🧪

🌛✧ الخوض السكوني ✧🌜

ألوان الطيف

Journey Into Oneself

قهقهة كونية

هذياني ياني

Reefer Reverie: An Ode

Rebirth

الوقت من دهب يا أبا لهب

دوجو دهب

Intention Connection & Reflective Introspection

Minimalism

حوار سفيه ساخن

Moon Magnoon

Phree Phlow

(H)ero

When The Sky Spoke Back

Thinking Allowed Is Aloud

The Womb

The Mystic and the Tripper

Trump Le Trompeur

Living On Insanity’s Brink

Tamarack Over Jack

قصيدة تسلم الأيادي ... لو كانت نضيفة

The Alpha-Beta Poem
 

Francophun يا WaladéStaYin Yang ☯

Anastasis of the Poetry Quizard

Poème Tragique

Find Your Tao: Phoolosophizing en Prosoetry

Poetitude

Meet Alf عقبة [Video]

Lunacy — Written at 19

Coming Back To The Real

Mima 56 — Written at 20

Beth’s Death — Written at 21 

Have No Morsi —هاف نو مرسي

Nena Ya Nena: a Bilingual Duet with Vaya Con Dios — نينا يا نينا: ثنائي ثنائي اللغة مع ڤيا كون ديوس

Izzy The Egyptian American Doggo [Video]

Dogs I get to spend time and connect with always have a special place in my heart. Because their lives are quite short, every once in a while I hear the news about one of them passing on to Doggo Heaven. Recently it was Shay the Saint Bernard, before that was my own Caramella, and sadly this time it’s Izzy, or Izabella, who belonged to my second cousin Teymour.

Luckily, though, I shoot and keep a whole lot of photos and videos; many of which are of those lovable canines. When they are gone, these memories serve well by reminding us of how great it was to have such faithful companions in our lives, even if for a relatively short time. Other than a few photos, there is also a video at the end of the article which I created out of some footage of Izzy.


Izzy’s story begins in 2004 in the streets of Cairo, Egypt as a tiny abandoned half Baladi-half Husky puppy. Baladi is the Egyptian word for stray, which literally means “my country”; it could also be used as a derogatory term meaning vulgar or lacking in taste.

Teymour was visiting from Michigan when he found her all alone under a car in Maadi, so he rescued and took her home. Around the same time, he would come hang out at my place and ended up spending a few nights, along with Izzy. She was so small and helpless, that I didn’t really mind her regular pee stains and tiny poopies around the house, even though the guy was always cleaning up behind her and apologising. 

I remember we called one of the local vets, Dr. Rafik, who issued a certificate stating that she’s younger than six-weeks old. Then called the airport to inquire about the procedure; and they said no extra paper work was needed due to the young age. That was simply it as off they both went. He took her to Michigan and started a new life together. A rescued Egyptian stray just “immigrating” and becoming American. A dream coming true for many humans. Kudos to Teymour.

T and pup Izzy fresh off Maadi’s streets, 2004

Fast-forwading to almost 10 years in February 2014 when I went to visit T in Michigan. It was one harsh winter; my loving dog had recently passed away, I had to leave Canada after three years of visa renewal, and the relationship I was in didn’t seem like it had any future. I had began writing the book and had no other option than to just keep going. So I got on the road coddiwompling across America for a few months before ending up in Venice Beach in Los Angeles. 

But before that I got to spend about six days with Teymour and Izzy. There wasn’t too many things to do in Birmingham, Michigan, especially without a car, and especially in such cold. So in the mornings T would go to work and I spend the entire day at home with the dog. A lot of time to connect.

The night I first arrived she was showing her teeth, something she usually did according to T. Nothing too aggressive, but untrusting. She obviously didn’t remember me as she was literally three or four weeks old back then.

Being alone in the house with a dog person who was tremendously missing his recently departed dog meant that there was lots of contact and body language play between us. Eventually I gained her trust, but it was a gradual process.

Assessing the situation, the first thing to consider was her breed. She is a Baladi stray dog after all, even though also being a Huskey mix. Those wild ones are pack-oriented and tend to get territorial; without enough time socialising with humans as well as other dogs they wouldn’t learn how to become friendly, which happened to be the case. 
 
The following step was to establish my dominance as a pack leader. So when she slightly bit my hand on that first morning, I knew what was needed. A jog. In the snow. In the middle of nowhere. Rocky Balboa mode!

I also showed no signs of fear or panic; just more determination to add her with some love.... and discipline.
 
I asked Teymour for the outdoors collar and leash, got them on her, wore my Adidas, gloves and beanie and headed out there. 

Getting ready before that first run and commemorating it

From the sheer excitement and energy level, I could tell that Izzy had probably never been taken out for jogs before. Being confined to the house for long hours while the owner is out working is something I know quite a few things about. Just like us humans, dogs get bored and lonely and should all should get enough time outdoors. Though the house garden is not really considered outdoors. Again, because there is little to no socialising. 

For certain dog breeds, exercising is actually essential to remain healthy, sane, and most importantly, to feel useful. Running, walking, or hiking together can be also be a great and healthy way to bond. Not only because the furry ones need to move, but also because this is how they look up to you as a pack leader. Seeing your physical capabilities will earn their respect.

Besides, it’s pure joy to be outdoors with our canines; regularly connecting with nature is one sure way to sharpen their senses.

Actually I had done the same with the Saint Bernard Gentle Giant in Toronto a few years earlier. Though I had much more time with Shay, rather than just a few days with Izzy. 

That said, I made sure the run wouldn’t be too long, since it’s the first — maybe 2.5 miles or so. Once back home, she was visibly calmer and more docile.

By the second run she was adapting and clearly enjoying her time outside of the house. The enthusiasm and anticipation showed all over her eyes when she would hear the sound of the collar and leash. This time it was a bit longer.

The remarkable thing is that it was a two-way thing. As mentioned, I had just lost my Cocker Spaniel after 8 years together; for us, too, moved from Egypt to Canada. It was quite a love story. So as much as handling Izzy seem to have worked for her, the experience was almost therapeutic to myself as well.

Additionally, it was a way to start moving again, with a dog. Following Canada and before being back to the States I spend six weeks in Egypt with no exercising and lots of yummy food — after being away for three long years during which I was cooking every single day. So I needed to get back in shape after regaining my health. 

Iz, Izzy yum yum, Biz, Bizzy, Bizznass, Zakia, Zakia-Hanem, and Stinker Bell
were different nicknames

Izzy and I enjoyed three runs during this short stay in Birmingham. Naturally, this led to more bonding and more trust. She was slowly becoming more playful and less aggressive. She seemed happy as she would wag her tail, giving me her squeaking toy to play with. I showed her that, first, I’m not afraid of her growling. Second, that playfulness is indeed good and healthy. In fact, it is needed for a dog’s well-being. 

The last thing I made sure to do is to let her know she’s a good girl as often as possible. Because I know how Love is capable of changing everything.

As written in Things I Wish All Dog Owners Would Understand, when you reward your dog with a simple “good girl/boy” they really do act as a good girl/boy. In fact, researchers have found that social interactions make pet dogs release Oxytocin — the same “love hormone” that humans feel when they are in love or bonding with friends. So that was something I had in mind whenever I would come across her around the house.

You can see the progression in the video below: How at start she growled and barked after coming in from the garden so I can give her a treat. I didn’t take any of that, and using body language I showed her who is the dominant one. It worked and Izzy Iz submitted to what iz.

Later — the part where I was telling her story — the bared teeth still showed a little but she was much more playful and submissive, bringing me her toy to share. In fact, in the dog world this may be called a submissive grin or even smile. By the time I was comfortable enough to playfully spank her butt as I used to do to Caramella.

Then finally looking relaxed lying down with one paw tucked under, no teeth. Because she was a good girl.

Fierce look captured during one of our tête-à-tête days at home 

On a Friday, Teymour took me to Detroit for the day. While he spent it at the head office, he got me in touch with a hippie-minded friend of his who ended up showing me around the city.

She was a lovely Egyptian American girl who also had another American friend with her. Equipped only with a camera, we went Downtown, visited the Botanical Garden, and the historical Belle Isle Casino. I remember we met other people at this coffee shop; and when I shared that I am just travelling around without any plans, they sympathetically said: “Auwh, he’s homeless”. I had never thought about it that way, but yes, homeless it was.

Another day, Teymour and I went out to some fun party/exhibition when we double dated. It was followed by a fancy dinner somewhere.

By the end my stay, the bonding wasn’t just with Izzy or just with T, but with both. I left Birmingham without knowing anything other than my next destination: Denver, Colorado. In fact, only because Teymour suggested it as we chillaxing at home a couple of days prior. This was February of 2014 and marijuana legalisation there was just beginning. So considering that I would probably enjoy this new American Amsterdam, he shared the idea, and Denver it was.

I first had to head back to Sycamore, Illinois where my main luggage was — at a kind friend I had met online, Ahmed. Yeah.     

Once ready, I headed to Chicago and got on a train for an 18-hour ride to the Mile High City. It was a lovely the experience as it was my first time to sleep in a train. I had a tiny cute cabin, including dinner and breakfast, served at the “restaurant”. There, I met a Canadian couple and we genuinely began chatting.

While I met Teymour a few times since then, it was the last time I saw Izzy. Just a couple of weeks ago, she went on her next journey, joining Caramella and Shay and all the dogs that have ever lived. Ah. 

 

From the streets of Maadi to Michigan, this doggo was given a new beginning and a wonderful life. May her lovely soul Rest In Peace.

ALSO VIEW:

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Training a Gentle Giant — Shay The Saint Bernard

Things I Wish All Dog Owners Would Understand

Why Cats Are Not Dogs

When Lady Ran Away

When The Puppies Ate The “Chocolate”

The Most Loyal Dogs in History

Some Animals I Shot