One Lucky Soul: OLS Reflections Quarante-Trois

Most people who hold that childish kind of love for their country have never left it.

There are certain people who tend to feel insecure in my presence. Subconsciously they project their own fears and insecurities on me. I can almost always sense this vibe and to counter it, out of compassion, I am sort of compelled to comfort that insecurity and the fear it originates from. Doing so requires censoring myself — rounding-out my edges and dimming my shine — which is something I sincerely despise. Simply because it’s not who I am at the core; it’s a bland, ordinary, unoriginal, edited, “watered-down” version of myself. Despite caring for these people, eventually this dynamic pushes me away from them. For I am who I am and will always remain who I am. The only way to fix this is to fully accept me as I am, just like what I have done some years ago. I will likely sense that vibe as well and take off the mask I resort to wear when around them, which is a Win-Win situation when we come to think about it.
Almost all neurotic people I know are into smoking cigarettes, and I know enough.

You’re always going to be too much for some people — too much of a dreamer, too Utopian, too happy, too free, too unrealistic, too loud. Those are not your people.

I know a significant number of people who would be shining with happiness now if it weren’t for their obsessive parents.

That utterly rare moment when you bump into someone you kind of fancied almost 20 years ago and can’t help but wonder how things could have turned out. This is not the same as seeing someone you have actually been with; because you know how that person is and have experienced being with them — even if once. When, however, nothing more than just mutual admiration had been there for a limited time one is left with an imaginative “What If?” after all these years.

The more life pulls me forward towards my dream, the more I realise that I’m already living it, the more it seems like an impossibility to turn around. For the journey is the destination and the intention is not to arrive. The true essence lies in fully living the multitude of the eternal Here and Now. Onward Forward, Brethren, there is no stepping backward.

As long as man still regards God as an entity outside of himself and Heaven and Hell as places he’ll never wake up or reach his full potential. Echoing with Nietzsche’s words in Beyond Good and Evil: “As long as you still feel the stars as being something ‘over you’ you still lack the eye of the man of knowledge.” Once you look up at the sky and acknowledge that you’re looking at your past self you’ll finally get the chance to shine unapologetically just like our ancestors — The Stars.

There is a peculiar sense of serenity and humility in knowing that you can’t know it all. For the more you understand, the more you realise there is so much more to understand. Truly, those who know know they don’t know. A reason why the more the knowledge, the humbler one becomes.

In real life, some people smile and laugh when they get shy, nervous, or confrontational. On social media, the same insecurity makes them add “LOL” and “Haha” after writing something relatively serious.