Wednesday, 20 March 2019

OLS Reflections Sixty-Six — The Outrageously Fun Ones

  • For few days every months many women tend to ovaryact. Well, I should have remembered that PMS jokes are never funny, period.

  • Can February March? No, but April May. Speaking of, March is my least favourite month of the year because I don’t like to be told what to do. 

  • I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you a douche, a doofus, and a schmuck. I truly thought you already knew.

  • The few times I dated school teachers the pervert in me loved to tell and text them stuff like: “Are we meeting after you’re done with school?”

  • Sometimes I question my existence; occasionally it replies. Other times I question my sanity; but my existence doesn’t like it, so it always interrupts.

  • I was eating at this place where the waitress was extremely rude. She was still expecting a tip, so I gave her the first that came to mind: “Being rude will not get you too far in life, young lady.”

  • That humiliating moment when someone authoritatively correct another’s mistake with a mitsake. 

  • If your name is John Smith your parents are probably lazy. 

  • To dry themselves after showering, many women use a variety of towels — one for the hair, another for the body, a third for the left pinky and so on. For us men it’s one lonesome towel: You start on the face, then down there drying the balls, up to the eyes, back down again for the asshole before going up one more time for your hair. The secret? you may ask. While males are naturally brute like that so they don’t really care, this single towel we use is always, always afflicted with amnesia.

  • When someone throws a tantrum I usually duck. Other times I goose. 


OLS Reflections 64 — The Dangerously Fun Ones

OLS Reflections Sessantadue — The Scandalously Fun Ones

OLS Reflections 60 — The Sensationally Fun Ones

OLS Reflections 五十八 — The Shamelessly Fun Ones

OLS Reflections Fifty-Six — The Notoriously Fun Ones

OLS Reflections Dreiundfünfzig — The Playfully Fun Ones

OLS Reflections Cinquante-et-Un — The Corruptly Fun Ones
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