Let us start the New Year with some jollity, shall we.
Since being a kid I loved to joke and mess with people’s minds. Usually the victims were either family members, close friends, or girlfriends. In later years, readers and strangers were included in the games. I can confidently say that sometimes I cannot control it, simply because it’s a lot of fun to plan and then execute such silly elaborate stuff.
The following are some of the pranks from over the years in chronological order.
1. The “Missing” Poster
Since being a kid I loved to joke and mess with people’s minds. Usually the victims were either family members, close friends, or girlfriends. In later years, readers and strangers were included in the games. I can confidently say that sometimes I cannot control it, simply because it’s a lot of fun to plan and then execute such silly elaborate stuff.
The following are some of the pranks from over the years in chronological order.
1. The “Missing” Poster
My nephew Hisham must have been about 14 while myself 15 when we had our photos captured during dinner one night at our Cairo Sheraton home. Few years ahead when we all forgot about it, I somehow came across it around the house and decided to have a little fun. I photocopied it, making about 50 copies and left them in the car. He lived in the same street, so every few days I would park the car away from his building, grab a copy of this “Missing Poster”, and leave it under his wiper blade. Every time it had a new handwritten message: “عود الي ماما”, “go back to mother”. “خرج ولم يعد”, “went out and never came back”. Whatever goofiness there was, really.
Few months passed yet he never, EVER, told me anything. Eventually I got smashed one night and confessed. He still never shared any details, but you could tell from his eyes that it was one legit prank. Punk’d by the then-19-year-old class-clown uncle. Quite the dedication, huh. I tend to be serious when it comes to joking and I think his mother did eventually comment in amusement.
2. Tova
Towards the end of a long-term relationship during the teenage years I began seeing a couple of other girls, both of whom wore the same perfume that I was in love with. The girlfriend was suspecting and in a way I wasn’t trying to really hide it — perhaps to make her jealous, or to see for myself that she cared, or to get back at her. Typical teenage insecurities and stupidities.
As such, one day I took an orange bandana of mine and passed by an older cousin who also happened to have the same perfume. I sprayed a couple of times on it then went to meet my girlfriend. At the end of our outing right before saying bye I put on a cheeky look, got the bandana out from my pocket, and waived it in front of her face, enough to pick up the familiar scent. The girl went mad and began fighting. Who gave you this?! Is it X?
I didn’t say much while keeping a mischievous smile before we parted ways. Only later that night on the phone did I confess my silly joke. Of course, it took a whole lot to convince her, because who does that for fun, huh? Well, someone’s got to. Eventually the girlfriend got the same perfume and the three of them wore it, making meeting them way easier [bwahaha]... at least while it lasted.
3. The White Rabbit’s Clock
A couple of years later on the last day of our summer in UCLA we had a mean party at the dorms. Three or four of us happened to be on LSD while the rest were drinking and smoking. At some point during the party one tripper, who was a friend of a cousin and whom I had just met him, asked me about the time. I remember sensing that he was confused and decided to play a little. I think I tried to playfully convince him that 1:35 am on the watch was really 7:05 am — by switching the hour hand with the seconds one. Ha. I then went to the few people he knew at the party and told them that if the guy asked about the time, they should tell him it’s 7:05 am.
We carried on with the party and the hysterical laughter before realising that the guy freaked out and left the place; because apparently he had work the next day. I never saw him again, but my cousin later told me that the he ended up at his house by 2:00 am or so, still believing it was morning time already.
I certainly never meant to mess with the guy that much and I didn’t think he would, or could, buy the whole thing. But that was only my second trip and I didn’t know better. I’m glad he was fine.
Another LSD-related farce I came up with can be found here: Placebo Effect & The LSD Prank.
4. My Other Girlfriend, The Dealer
In my late 20s I was dating a younger girl who had her doubts that I did drugs. So one day as she was at my place I took my phone and began sending a message. “Hey man, my gf is here but you can pass by the stuff at home. 10 Es, 2 grams of coke, and some Rohypnol. Hurry.”
Still holding my phone, I asked her if she needed to drink anything and went down to the kitchen. Then I sent her the message. A few minutes later, I went up to see. She was holding her own phone while looking unhappy, yet seemed like she was trying to remain calm Mentioning that I just sent her a message, I confidently said I didn’t. She confirmed that I did by reading part of it. I then pretended to look bewildered and reached for my phone on the bed as if to check.
A couple of seconds through, my facial expressions changed to a mixture of shock and embarrassment — because I just realised that I sent her the message by mistake. The girl was getting all nervous by then and was overwhelmed by the ‘evidence’ which fell into her hands by mere fortune.
15 or 20 minutes were enough before I confess the prank. Once again here, she also didn’t believe at start. So I played even more, pretending that I’m pretending it’s a joke to cover my busted ass and to hint that I had really sent her that message by mistake, causing more confusion to the poor chick.
Eventually I came fully clean and she was convinced.
5. [Insert-Your-Name-Here] Fools’ Day
Last year during a visit to Egypt I wrote the following on my Facebook wall for all family, friends, fans, and followers to see:
“Alright folks. It’s time to move once again, for Life is a never-ending journey. This next week I’ll be embarking on a one-year adventure through The Himalayan Mountain Range, during which I’ll be residing in several monasteries as well as in some ancient caves. I will not have access to Internet or any other “new-world” material. A carefully picked selection of books and my drums will be all I need. As for One Lucky Soul — the blog and the Facebook page — I have no other option but to put it on pause. Hopefully when I’m back, if I will, it will resume. I’ll miss you all and you’ll always remain in my heart. See you on the other side. Love One Another.”
The comments on the status began to appear a few minutes after posting and didn’t stop for the whole day. My own parents were baffled and my mother had to call name on the phone to inquire, but she was trying to do it in a subtle way. I hadn’t seen her in a year and a half before that time so I decided to exclude her from the prank and told her that I’m just playin’ everyone.
Six or seven hours later, I followed the status with:
“Happy Omar Fools’ Day, everyone. The story behind this last status goes way back to when I was 12 years old. Being a prankster since I was even younger, I loved April Fools’. I would go to my grandma and convince her that I’m changing schools, or whatever spoof I would come up with. But then, being a day when everyone was expecting to be fooled, it lost its meaning. No one would really buy anything outrageous you tell them on the 1st of April, so I stopped taking part in the game at this young age. Yet, I always wanted to find a way around it because I still love pranks and jokes and fun and laughter. And it only came to me some years ago.
The idea is to randomly choose any other day of the year — doesn’t have to be the first of the month — and you try to come up with the most elaborate, imaginative prank you could think of. It could be anything you would consider a prank which you should try to hold for the whole day; well, half a day would do. Each year you pick a different day so that no one would suspect.
The thing I noticed about my choice here is that I probably needed something way more bizarre and outrageous. All of you believed my words because it is something I would totally do. Actually, it’s on me bucket list. Instead, I should have said something like I’m getting married or so. No seriously, maybe I’ve been in contact with extraterrestrial life, or I’m becoming a satanist pimp, or I contracted a rare eye virus which makes me capable of seeing through your clothes or the world in kaleidoscope, or something. I do, however, promise to be more creative next year. Then again, the whole point is that many people buy it, just like you did.
Now your unsurprised, encouraging comments make me contemplate heading to the caves and monasteries much sooner.
Anyways, after many years of not being a player and a few years of planing, I hereby declare the death of April Fools’ Day and the birth of [Insert-Your-Name-Here] Fools’ Day. You’re welcome.”
This year, I remembered Omar’s Fools Day and on a random morning I changed my relationship status on Facebook to ‘Married’ with that red heart and all and wrote: Finally!
But the anticipation and the complexity of the topic made me freak out and only three hours later I shared the truth. It was still enough time to receive some curious private messages from female friends and lovers.
Interestingly, I forgot to change the relationship status. Even though I made sure to choose not to show it on my page, I still remained ‘married’ for maybe 10 days afterwards until a friend told me. Yikes.
6. Con-tained
I go to this local dispensary about once a week where all who work are girls in their 20s. Needless to say, I enjoy these visits and know most of them as they know me by name. But there is one sweet girl whom I kind of fancy. A while ago I gave her the blog’s name to check it out and that was that.
Maybe about a couple of months back, she went inside to do something so I asked another one about her name; of course I had to ask the name of the one I’m asking as well, pretending that it’s about time I know everyone’s name. Yes, girls, especially younger ones, are sensitive like that; and if you can find a way to avoid it then why not. She told me the girl’s name was Bianca — I forgot hers because our memory needs space.
Bianca went on holidays and nothing happened for a while until one morning. After our usual friendly chitchat, I took off my shades, looking straight at those stunning green eyes and said:
“Do you know that I have a remarkable ability to look at people and guess their names.
Huh. How do you do that?” She curiously asked
“I don’t know but I’ve been doing it since I was kid. And it works 80% of the times.”
Looking interested, the other girls overheard and came a little closer.
I then pretended to deeply reflect: “It’s a foreign name which means something.
Well, yes,” she smilingly responded.
‘Reflecting’ again, I hesitated for a second before saying: “It ends with ‘a’. Right?”
Smiling even more, “YES.”
So I smiled, showing that I’m getting more confident in my abilities.
More reflections with eyes closed along with some counting, “There are five letters before the ‘a’”.
She started counting on her own fingers then gave me a fascinated look and almost shouted one more “YES!”
Another 15 seconds, I said: “Bianca?!”
OMG… that’s it.
Is it?! I still got it, huh. Are you of Italian origin?” I asked her.
“No, a Columbian/Dutch mix.”
What a captivating combination.
Well I guess I’ll see you later, Bianca. Bye, girls.”
I turned around in full amusement and under their bewildered watchful eyes I left the place like a Gnostic Wizard.
Sweet Bianca went back to Florida right before last Christmas without ever knowing that the wizard is also a prankster.
This year, I remembered Omar’s Fools Day and on a random morning I changed my relationship status on Facebook to ‘Married’ with that red heart and all and wrote: Finally!
But the anticipation and the complexity of the topic made me freak out and only three hours later I shared the truth. It was still enough time to receive some curious private messages from female friends and lovers.
Interestingly, I forgot to change the relationship status. Even though I made sure to choose not to show it on my page, I still remained ‘married’ for maybe 10 days afterwards until a friend told me. Yikes.
6. Con-tained
I go to this local dispensary about once a week where all who work are girls in their 20s. Needless to say, I enjoy these visits and know most of them as they know me by name. But there is one sweet girl whom I kind of fancy. A while ago I gave her the blog’s name to check it out and that was that.
Maybe about a couple of months back, she went inside to do something so I asked another one about her name; of course I had to ask the name of the one I’m asking as well, pretending that it’s about time I know everyone’s name. Yes, girls, especially younger ones, are sensitive like that; and if you can find a way to avoid it then why not. She told me the girl’s name was Bianca — I forgot hers because our memory needs space.
Bianca went on holidays and nothing happened for a while until one morning. After our usual friendly chitchat, I took off my shades, looking straight at those stunning green eyes and said:
“Do you know that I have a remarkable ability to look at people and guess their names.
Huh. How do you do that?” She curiously asked
“I don’t know but I’ve been doing it since I was kid. And it works 80% of the times.”
Looking interested, the other girls overheard and came a little closer.
I then pretended to deeply reflect: “It’s a foreign name which means something.
Well, yes,” she smilingly responded.
‘Reflecting’ again, I hesitated for a second before saying: “It ends with ‘a’. Right?”
Smiling even more, “YES.”
So I smiled, showing that I’m getting more confident in my abilities.
More reflections with eyes closed along with some counting, “There are five letters before the ‘a’”.
She started counting on her own fingers then gave me a fascinated look and almost shouted one more “YES!”
Another 15 seconds, I said: “Bianca?!”
OMG… that’s it.
Is it?! I still got it, huh. Are you of Italian origin?” I asked her.
“No, a Columbian/Dutch mix.”
What a captivating combination.
Well I guess I’ll see you later, Bianca. Bye, girls.”
I turned around in full amusement and under their bewildered watchful eyes I left the place like a Gnostic Wizard.
Sweet Bianca went back to Florida right before last Christmas without ever knowing that the wizard is also a prankster.
There is also Placebo Effect & The LSD Prank, which started as humorous fun then ended it on a more serious note. Mainly due to having an entire sub-chapter in my book about Psychedelics and another about Placebo. Add to the mix some personal real-life storytelling and the piece writes itself.
ALSO VIEW:
The Benefits of Laughter Two, Too, To — With More Witty Jokes to Prove it
Things I Never Told Anyone
More Things I Never (Really) Told Anyone
