One Lucky Soul: More Things I Never (Really) Told Anyone

Friday, 27 May 2016

More Things I Never (Really) Told Anyone

After that Things I Never Told Anyone has gone viral and was shared, like, 23 times, and before Even More Things I Never (Really) Told Anyone, I hereby give you some more secrets.

1- Sometimes I catch myself saying the things I used to tell Caramella, my late Cocker Spaniel. Often it’s out loud yet only myself can hear it, probably because I'm alone. But my mouth does subtly move. Stuff like: “Caramella maki pipi”, “Eaty cheesy”, “Caramella sleepy” — usually while I'm peeing, eating cheese, or in bed about to go to sleep.

2- I almost never used the word ‘pardon’ or “pardon me” in English. The French ‘pardon’ that I’m used to makes saying it in English weird to my mouth. ‘Sorry’, “Excuse me”, and “What's that?” are more than enough.

3- I used to occasionally pee the bed at night until maybe 9 or 10 years of age. I had no other option then but to hide my undies under the bed or in-between the laundry, only to be found later by the nanny or mom.

4- Sometimes I notice how a certain activity makes me feel good, then later find out that it has been scientifically proven that said activity does make one feel good. An example is the meditative qualities of doing the dishes. Another is cold showers, or more likely the cold rinse following the hot shower.

5- Several ex-girlfriends told me that their male friends found me somewhat intimidating. Since then I've been working on it.

6- Whenever I’m in the street and in the right mood, which is often, and I see those yellow “total stations” used in construction that look like a camera on a tripod, I cannot help but stand in front of them, look at the land surveyor, then smile and wave my hand as if I’m taking a photo. I’ve been doing this for over 20 years now and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to stop.

7- Sometimes I ask people questions which I can easily find the answers to just to let them open up by communicating.

8- On occasions, while writing — or reading my own writing, more likely — taking photos, drumming, or meditating my eyes tear up. This is a clear message that I’m doing that which I love and have unimaginable passion for.

9- At 13, my friend and I used to make out with his grandmother’s maid who was about three years older. She was also somewhat mentally challenged. Yeah. Blame it on the wacky hormones.

10- Right after graduating from University, I went to Madrid, Spain to visit a friend. One night we had nothing to smoke so we went down to get some hash. He left me in the car and disappeared for five minutes then came back and handed me a nice piece. I’m not exactly sure why, but as he began driving, I looked at him and asked: “Misho, was this hash in his ass?”

He looked back at me, hesitated for about two seconds, then said a bold “YES”.

It was actually the best hash we’ve had during this trip and we went back to the guy a few days later for some more brown — pun awfully intended. The Night I Became a Stripper in Spain is from the same trip.

“I am still you, and what I see is me”