When The Puppies Ate The “Chocolate”

Ever since I was a kid storytelling had always been a source of great joy. Later, the passion was complemented by a love for languages and a way with words. When I started One Lucky Soul, this blog, right after moving to Toronto everything was new to me and I had no idea what to write about or who I was “speaking to”. So when the puppies ate the smokable “chocolate”, I thought why not share the merry story with the virtual world.

The following article is the first original writing post on the blog, straight from the depths of the OLS Archives from August 2011. Enjoint...



DAY 1


Yesterday the eight-months-old King Charles Cavalier puppy ate the last piece of smokable “chocolate” I was keeping to enjoy after a long day. It must have fallen at some point around the house, but I didn't see it and kept looking like a mad man, a certified one — not believing that I really lost my last chunk. And it's quite rare up here in Canada.

When I finally headed to the kitchen, I noticed how the female pup was the only dog out of the four who wasn’t moving towards me in excitement as they all religiously do during dinner time. But instead, she had her butt on the floor and looking at me in some kind of daze. So I figured that she might had eaten the “chocolate”.

After more observation, I notice that the poor pup couldn’t really stand. She looked as though she was hammered, which may seem amusing for an instant. Yet, one couldn’t help but feel a tad bad for her and wonder what’s happening to her little mind. The thing is that she is a runt and smaller than average.

Her in a much more sober moment

However, this wasn’t the first time the loca bitch ingests some cannabis. A few months back, she ate two Mary Jane Js while she was being taken care of by my ex-partner’s colleague and had to be taken to the hospital. So in only eight months, this K9 pup stoner already has some highstory. 

Knowing that this piece was quite small, I wasn’t too worried, unlike the ex.

After all, the young dog of a dear friend of mine once ate a quarter of a coin of hash — a coin in the Arab World is from 4 to 4.5 g —and a few hours later he was fine. Though my friend called the vet who recommended Flagyl, also known as Metronidazole, which is a multi-purpose antibiotic often used in the treatment of dogs. 

As for us, we just kept the puppy close for the night. I couldn’t help but to keep looking at her stoney face with certain envy. I was the one who was supposed to be looking like that!



DAY 2


The pup woke up fine and the day went on until food time. Once in the kitchen, it was the male King Charles puppy who wasn’t approaching his food like he always does; in fact, he’s usually in such a hurry, that I need to calm him down before he starts his speed feeding. But today he had that familiar look. Aha. He actually looked pretty much like his sister just 24 hours ago.

WTF! Is it contagious? Did he find another piece today? Did he eat some greens? Hm, gotta be sure. In a matter of 30 seconds I knew he was intoxicated.

The one and only logical explanation is that his sister must have vomited the ‘piece’ and he ate it.

Bingo, inspector Clouseau.

Sober moment for the boy

So for the second night in a row we’re baby sitting a stoned pup. Before bedtime I took the boy out for a walk to get some fresh air. Since it works with paranoid humans, it might as well work with dogs.

When the pup finally pooped, I took a fallen leave and broke the stuff with sincere precision, trying to find any solid bit. I felt as though I was chopping some cocaine with a green credit card. However, there was nothing...yet. Like his sister, it will probably take half a day to a day to come out. 

Once done with the poop inspection, I hoped that no one from the neighbours had seen me mid action: The guy had totally lost his mind and now he’s snorting lines of dog poop on the pavement.


This time it was the boi who spent the night on the bed.
 While trying to sleep, I wondered if this will be an ongoing process: Maybe he’ll puke the “chocolate” tomorrow and his sister will swallow it again, get dopey for a while, and then puke it once more only to be re-eaten by him again...and so on. 

Well what about me? It was my piece after all and I’m the only one who didn’t end up with droopy, nodding eyes.


Damn you, Hippy Dippy Dogs.




ALSO VIEW:


A Dieu Caramella

Things I Wish All Dog Owners Would Understand

The Egyptian Man Who Kept a Piece of Hash in His Stomach for Four Years

Training a Gentle Giant — Shay The Saint Bernard

Izzy The Egyptian American Doggo [Video]

When Lady Ran Away  

From Insects to Crows: Dogless and Searching for Companionship
 
The Most Loyal Dogs in History

Pups n Pops

A Dollar & Thirty Four Cents in Me Pocket and Feeling Fine 

The Ashram Sweeper Who Blocked Me on Facebook

The Bloke Who Thought I’m Too Much of an Alpha Male

The Girl Who Wouldn’t Share Toilet Paper

The Spell of the Topless Redhead 

The Night We Turned ‘Beast Mode’ On

The Night I Became a Stripper

The Day I Became Bill Gate’s Elevator Boy

Placebo Effect & The LSD Prank

The Joy of Being a Wanderer and the Credit Card Number

I Kissed a Grandma... and I Liked It
 

WTF?!@#$%^* Two [Videos]

After WTF?!@#$%^* [Videos], this is the sequel. Viewer discretion is advised due to some of the graphic nature of the videos, especially the last one. So if you're easily disturbed, simple leave and check the many other articles on the blog or the entire Internet.


I first tried tracking the following footage, but couldn't find its source. Yes that's what I do: I post bizarre untraceable videos on the blog then research their origin. I really think I should start getting paid for that.

Then, the MacGyver in me watched it again and read “Groland” and with a finger touch I found that it's a French humour video site. BINGO! Gotta love Google. They seem to have all the answers of the Universe, and most of the questions are already right there in the search engines. I bow to Google.

1

The Japs are kinky in their own way. I think their seclusion for many centuries then the WWII disastrous napalm defeat had palpable and serious effects on their culture and personalities. Lots of their porn scrambles the genitals as if it really matters. Uhm...well yes it does matter and it sucks.

What else can be found in Japan? A whole lot of oddities. Cuddle cafes. Robot restaurants. Subway chin-rests. The casual Face masks. Super umbrellas. Bathroom slippers. Automated super-duper toilets equipped with remote controls to heat the seat, play music, and to wash and dry the asses. And square watermelons.

2

The Land of the rising sun is also the land of anime, hentai, and vending machines selling used schoolgirls' panties. Well supposedly there are no more Burusera (ブルセラ), or used panties machines, but to have applied such an idea at some point in time tells us something about Japanese perversion.

What is shown here in the footage is called Tamakeri (玉蹴り), literally meaning Ball Kicking. It is a sexual fetish and subgenre of pornography within which a man's testicles are abused. Originating in Japan, it has now spread all over the world where it is commonly known as BallBusting — or BB for short.

According to a half Japanese cousin who lived there all her life before leaving for university, the population is somewhat repressed and similar to the Middle East in terms of family values, customs, and traditions. Unlike Middle Eastern folks, those also work like mad. As a result, they find gratification in underground sex, fetishes, odd games, and sushi. The above video may be a proper illustration.

Apart from all that, we cannot ignore what the Japs have done in a little over 50 years in terms of advancement and research. I mean these people were nuked not once but twice! Aye. And look at them today, freaky as ever.

3

This Arab dad probably deserved it. You don't mix children and weapons, especially loaded ones. And I mean guns.

4

Finally, male circumcision in African tribes. A close friend turned his head away while I was showing him this gentle footage. He said “I have a son now”. That pansy recently just got another boy to be the proud papa of three lovely kiddos. Congratulations, Bops.



ALSO VIEW:


WTF?!@#$%^* [Videos]

WTF?!@#$%^* Three [Videos]

WTF?!@#$%^* Four [Videos]

Raw Accidents [Videos]

Wicked Animals [Videos]

WTF?!@#$%^* Four [Videos]

At least in the photo below they are all companions in the peculiarity like brothers in arms — or should I say brothers in balls. Imagine you put them down on the ground and just sit comfortably, like having a folding chair constantly attached to your torso.

I wonder how sex is affected. Does the mammoth size mean a huge container of sperm? If your balls are the size of a watermelon then your cum should perhaps fill a big water bottle of 1.5 liter. Consequently, the amount of time needed to fill the bottle would also be remarkable, something like four minutes and 14 seconds. I wonder if they are able to achieve orgasm with those unusual measurements. But if they did, it must be one hell of a show.

I have another clip that i wanted to add on here but sadly, it's pornographic. It's a man with 2 penises, not too sure about the "functionality" bit to be honest but looking at the female, they look like they're doing the double job just fine. As long as the girl doesn't keep reminding herself that she's sleeping with a Chernobyl reactor, she'll be feeling great because the guy was pumping her front and back door at the same time. Yes, he was using both his tools with the same pelvic movement and the female seemed happy. Maybe after using him in a few low-budget pornos, he'll have no other options but to join the Freaks Circus.


ALSO VIEW:

WTF?!@#$%^* Three [Videos]

WTF?!@#$%^* Two [Videos]

WTF?!@#$%^* [Videos]

WTF?!@#$%^* Four [Videos]