The Intertwining of Pain and Pleasure

Pain and Pleasure are somehow devilishly connected.



✵ Ⅰ. The Intuitive Threshold


The phrase above is one of my earliest reflections shared back in 2013. Almost a decade later, I became curious once again and decided to delve into the topic to learn more.



When I first expressed that sentiment, I had never researched the mechanics. Basing my personal reference almost entirely on years of exercise, sex, drug-use, and dating activities, it simply felt intuitive that a distinct relationship existed between the two states. Ever since, there had been plenty of time to put that view to the test. Finally, the inquiries and research followed.


Pondering questions like: Why do we laugh until we cry, or cry out of sheer happiness? Why do some tear up while playing a musical instrument, writing poetry, or staring at a moving painting? Why do we moan and scream from pain as well as from pleasure? Why is our “orgasm face” indistinguishable from our “pain face”?



Why do adrenaline junkies feel exhilarated due to risky, fear-inducing “daredevil” activities like extreme sports or riding roller coasters? Is this pain or pleasure... or both?

After The Intertwining of Genius and Insanity (2014) and The Intertwining of Music and Sexuality ― A Djembefola’s Tale (2017), the following exposé deals with the peculiarly mysterious relationship between pain and pleasure 
― neurobiologically, psychologically, and philosophically.   

“This, then, is the human problem: there is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness. We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain. By remembering the past we can plan for the future. But the ability to plan for the future is offset by the ‘ability’ to dread pain and to fear of the unknown. Furthermore, the growth of an acute sense of the past and future gives us a corresponding dim sense of the present. In other words, we seem to reach a point where the advantages of being conscious are outweighed by its disadvantages, where extreme sensitivity makes us unadaptable.”

― Alan Wilson Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety 

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✵ Ⅱ. The Neurobiological Currency


Historically, pain and pleasure were often considered to be actual diametrical opposites. But are they really? 



For the realised individual, they are simply two sides of the same coin. Both are worthy of thorough investigation. For it seems they share a multilayered relationship, fundamentally inseparable and intertwined.

When the perception of one increases, so does the perception of the other. In fact, they are ingrained into our neurobiological makeup, sharing the exact same brain circuits and neurochemical pathways. 

Be it pain or food, sex, and drugs, scientists tracking brain scans of people who were subjected to a certain painful stimulus found that similar neural regions are triggered during both experiences. Both entice the body to produce its own internal narcotics: endorphins.


Along with Serotonin — our natural antidepressant, Dopamine — dubbed the feel-good hormone, Oxytocin — dubbed the bonding or cuddle hormone, Endorphins are part of the four essential Happy Hormones. This neurological reality validates Carl Jung’s stark declaration: 

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”


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✵ Ⅲ. The Architecture of Memory

An article titled Pain in the Past and Pleasure in the Future: The Development of Past–Future Preferences for Hedonic Goods, published in Cognitive Science, tracks this alignment further. 

“Further research has found that the pathways used by pain impulses excite not only the areas of the brain that experience physical sensation, but also those associated with emotion and cognition. Pain is not only a physical experience; the association of cognition — higher awareness — and emotion attach meaning to the experience of pain. These additional features of pain appear to help humans create more refined memories of a painful experience, which may help keep the person from repeating it in the future.” 

These additional features appear to help humans create more refined memories of a painful event, preventing the organism from repeating the mistake in the future. 
But it may also be the exact reason why the mind tends to cling to the past.

This neurochemical relationship between the perceptions of pain and pleasure is exemplified through the opioid and dopamine systems: While the opioid system is handles the immediate experience of the sensation, the dopamine system regulates the anticipation or expectation of that experience.   

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✵ Ⅳ. The Reward-Punishment Matrix


At the start of my research it became apparent that, unlike pleasure, pain had been the core subject of a wide field of neuroscientic and medical research. We can only, however, say the same about reward in particular rather than pleasure in general. 

The International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) defines pain as “An unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage.” Related fields of study deal with the neurocognitive mechanisms of human perception, emotions and desires.

As discussed in a BBC Future report, Why Pain Feels Good, any standard painful stimulus forces the central nervous system to release endogenous endorphins. These natural painkillers act to block the distress signal while working in a similar way to opiates like morphine to induce states of euphoria.



Take the classic Runner’s High: proteins bind to opioid receptors in the brain, blocking pain transmissions while simultaneously stimulating the limbic and prefrontal regions — the exact zones activated by passionate love affairs and music. It is a post-pain rush similar to the high of morphine or heroin, also binding to the brain’s opioid receptors.


Evolutionary speaking, the ‘Runner’s High’ mechanism enabled our ancestors to endure the physical exhaustion of a marathon hunt.


Both states are equal components of the reward-punishment loop. Whenever pleasure is perceived, we associate it with positive reward; when pain hits, we process it as negative punishment. 




When test subjects had their hands gently warmed or painfully heated during Harvard Medical School brain scans, the circuits releasing the body’s natural painkillers fired in tandem with the same zones that normally respond to rewards like food, sex, and money.

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Inseparable Twins.
Allegorical sketch by Leonardo da Vinci — pleasure and pain, duality

✵ Ⅴ. The Engine of Duality


Beside the shared neurobiology, fearing pain and desiring pleasure function as our greatest survival motivators. We tend to indulge in the latter strictly to evade the former.



Crying, for instance, turned out to be triggered by opposite sensory extremes. Because scientists have mapped distress to the same neural circuits that grant us ecstasy, we can effortlessly laugh until we cry — and cry out of sheer joy.



Such biological commonality explains why I occasionally tear up while drumming or while writing or reading my own poetry. It often occurs when consciousness shifts during Flow State — while floating in The Zone.


Motivation, however, operates as a two-way street. Memory plays a commanding role in the process. Organisms are hardwired to avoid repeating behaviours that previously induced trauma; this basic recognition is how primitive learning comes about. 



Similarly, we are driven to seek past ecstasies by projecting them into the future, hoping to relive those moments.



Yet, this automatic association with the past leads directly to attachment and expectation. It sequentially breeds future sorrow, disappointment, and psychological exhaustion. Our view of the horizon becomes foggy, paralysed by a dread of pain and the unknown.



The cognitive mind is conditioned to cling to skeletal memories of the past while completely forgetting to live in the present Here and Now.


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✵ Ⅵ. Somatic Remembrance & Neuroplasticity


The mind is not the sole organ responsible for the persistence of trauma; the nervous system likewise forms its own cellular remembrances. 

Something we learned from Gabor Maté is that the body keeps score of every memory the mind refuses to process, not metaphorically, but physiologically. Suppressed emotions turns into chronic stress signals. The culprit? Elevated Cortisol levels, while the nervous system stays in love-level threat mode. 

This tracking becomes clear when observing how anaesthesia prevents the conscious brain from forming memories during invasive surgery. Despite the temporary blackout, the peripheral nervous system can still form its own deep pain memories of the procedure.


Such type of memories — a form of systemic scarring — causes a structural reorganisation of nervous system functions. The chronic disturbance can lead to phantom pain patterns inside an otherwise healthy body.

This mechanism goes back to neuroplasticity, or brain plasticity. Having dedicated a full chapter to it inside my book, the following adaptation was mapped out in Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer:


“Through transformative learning and neuroplasticity the wiring between the different networks of the brain can be altered. …

 Cognitive Neuroscience shows that when we repeatedly perform a certain activity, learn a new fact, or practice a skill, the corresponding neurons consistently keep stimulating each other. Over time, the wiring between them becomes stronger, which can make the connection last an entire lifetime. The neurons become more sensitive to each other and are more likely to synchronise their firing time in the future. All this takes place in the brain to support learning. In other words, whatever we do we are always physically modifying the brain to become better at it. What a remarkable feature that is.”

With that, any practising usually leads to improvement; the reason being is that our brain changes physiologically to adapt to the novelty. Whatever we repeatedly practice improves because the brain physically alters its architecture to adapt to the novelty. 

But neuroplasticity is a non-local law that operates both ways: unused networks stop being hardwired and are systematically pruned from the motherboard.


Change your thoughts, and you rewrite your reality.

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✵ Ⅶ. The Cognitive Shrinkage


As such, the more we reinforce standard trauma circuits, the more the brain gets stuck in repetitive thought and distress patterns. Then, the brain — the neurological architecture — tends to shrink, literally. Fewer circuits and degraded connections make other creative channels obsolete. Fun networks related to music, wine, and camaraderie gradually wither from pure disuse. 


Fortunately, as it turned out, nothing is cast in stone. 



Through transformative learning and actively stimulating neuroplasticity, we know that the wiring between these brain networks can indeed be altered, again and again. This shift grants us novel perspectives along with the ability to see things under a truer light.



Most people either live in the past or in the future, you see — oscillating between the ghost and the anxiety. Those who dwell on what was are depressed; those who overthink what will be are anxious. Only the few who inhabit their Here and Now find peace of mind. 



When we are led by — neurotically identifying with — either pain or pleasure throughout life, we live a partial, fragmentary existence. We are trapped in what Alan Watts described as “a corresponding dim sense of the present”.  



Conversely, when we learn to observe both forces with impartial eyes, it leads to unified awareness. Coincidentia Oppositorum. Awareness, in turn, allows the organism to become whole. To be fully in the present moment, in the Here and Now.

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✵ Ⅷ. The Partial Mind (The Krishnamurti Excerpts)

On a similar note, Jiddu Krishnamurti remarked in the above excerpt from Chapter 5 — 5th Public Talk, Saanen — 21st July 1981:

“A man who wants money, power, position, is perpetually occupied with it. Perhaps, the brain is similarly occupied with the remembrance of something of a week ago which gave great pleasure, being held in the brain, which thought projects as future pleasure and pursues. The repetition of pleasure is the movement of thought and therefore limited; therefore the brain can never function wholly, it can only function partially.”

When defining the trap of pleasure during his 1970 interview by Oliver Hunkin at Brockwood Park, Krishnamurti added:

 

 “You have enjoyed, say for example, an evening sunset, marvellous thing. A lovely colour, and all the rest. Then you want to repeat it the next day. Because you had great delight in that. The repetition of it is brought about by thought. Thinking that you had a pleasure yesterday you want to repeat it again tomorrow. Not being able to get that pleasure tomorrow, you feel frustrated, you feel angry, or afraid. So, thought is responsible for both the continuance of pleasure and the sustaining of fear.”

To understand fear, one must untangle the search for pleasure.

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✵ Ⅸ. The Post-Addiction Rebound

 

I recall my early 30s, visiting Canada’s Wonderland in Toronto on three consecutive birthdays. This new phase closely followed seven years of heroin addiction. When I finally broke the script and got clean, the reformed human in me still craved an intense velocity of excitement — a chemical rush my antenna was yearning for. I located it right inside those wicked roller coaster tracks.



I did not mind the 45-minute lines; because I knew a reward was soon to follow, in the form of a massive dopamine dose — à la Pavlov. It seemed like I needed the stimulation for my own mental health, to shock the system back awake.



Seeking adrenaline rushes through daring activities was nothing new to me. At 18 and 19, in Ayia Napa, Cyprus and Long Island, California I did bungee jump: First it was 150 feet, then 230 feet — or around 70 meters. 

Beside signing waivers in both countries that if you die, break your neck, get paralysed among another 14 items on the list, it is not their responsibility, the pre-jump safety measures were much more thorough in the U.S.

I remember having to watch a video with detailed explanations, having our measurements (height and weight) taken — twice, once on the ground and another up there. Also the staff were checking all the gear in front of surveillance cameras. On the beach in Cyprus, on the other hand, the process was way simpler and more laid back. Actually, they give you a free beer right afterwards.

In the same 1996 year after returning from the U.S, I climbed to the top of the Great Pyramid one night. 

With such history, when I got clean, part of me wanted to get high on life. And these occasional daring activities were highly enjoyable. It was during that same Toronto chapter that I returned to jogging. Once or twice a week, my neighbour Brent, my Cocker Spaniel Caramella, and I would cut through the nearby Beltline trail. Recovering my health after a decade of self-medication felt spectacular. 



Bit by bit, our capacity expanded. One day we ran for two hours and five minutes straight from Davisville all the way to the Beaches. The post-run Runner’s High was immense.



It was my first time to ever run this long or this far, which turned out to be around 18 Kms when we calculated it later. Of course we had to ride both a bus then the subway to return home. But I certainly did not care as I was exhilarated and naturally high, and remained so till maybe the next day.

That was when I discovered the defining law of sovereignty, becoming part of my inner truth: Natural highs don’t have lows. Unlike pharmaceutical substances, you never come down feeling groggy or trapped in physical withdrawals — and existential dread.


Now, is this pain or pleasure? Can we say for sure? It is clearly neither. 

Both forces are chemically and alchemically intermingled in the process together — inside the non-duality of the physical machine. In this matrimony, this bond, lies the oneness of the organism.



There is a distinct pleasure hidden in pain, just as there is a silent pain lurking in pleasure.



During the subsequent American phase when residing in Bohemian Venice Beach, the jogging remained while [serious] writing and drumming were integrated into my daily cadence. All three activities keep me naturally high, especially while flowing effortlessly in The Zone — sometimes teary-eyed as mentioned. 


Shake the snowglobe operating system to rewire your neuroplasticity. New neural connections open up the Doors of Perception.

The 22K-piece, Addiction Talk: A Look Down The Trenches, which followed in 2026, tells my whole story as it is. 

Holding the Megaphone: A Decade of Alchemical Gold and Confessional Exorcisms is another. 

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Jurassic Park Ride at Universal Studios — Los Angeles, 1996

✵ 𝐗. The Amusing Trip (Written in 2025)





But how exactly are the human body and psyche affected during these high-intensity experiences? The mechanics are quite fascinating.


Physiologically, the nervous system interprets the intense physical sensations as a genuine threat. Despite the conscious mind knowing the environment is engineered for safety, the automated fight-or-flight response triggers a massive cascade of chemical reactions.


Adrenaline is aggressively pumped into the bloodstream. Endorphins flood the networks, inducing instant euphoria. A flood of dopamine surge hits the reward pathways.


This reward loop is why some thrill-seekers immediately loop back to ride again. I have shamelessly conquered three high-speed runs in a row, and I am not alone.


The entire experience functions as a form of positive stress — eustress — where the organism enjoys the visceral sensations that accompany a fear response within a controlled perimeter. The sensory fallout is immediate: a stomach-dropping threshold, temporary vertigo, and visual distortion.


Beyond the raw chemistry, distinct psychological factors contribute to this childlike enjoyment of physically risky activities:


• A Sense of Mastery: Resulting from directly facing your fears, daring your ego, and having fun simultaneously.

• Living in the Here and Now: Being violently compelled by the fast-paced action to remain fully present and attentive.

• Social Bonding: Shared high-intensity experiences that naturally breed collective narratives.

The final two mental mechanisms remain the most intriguing:


• Sensation Seeking: A distinct genetic predisposition to enjoy varied, novel, and volatile physical experiences. It is the primary reason why not everyone can tolerate roller coasters... let alone bungee jumping.

• Benign Masochism: What psychologists call the phenomenon where people enjoy experiences their brain initially registers as threatening, but the sudden realisation of safety delivers intense pleasure.

The secret of this practice traces back to my early psychonaut roots. At 19, when first trying LSD in Los Angeles, my younger American neighbours — who favoured my company — casually mentioned that someone’s older brother’s friends used to trip at amusement parks.

At 19, still trapped in conventional matrix, mostly inherited, it sounded completely insane. At 34, freshly clean after years of heavy addiction, it became a calculated yearly ritual for a more experienced psychonaut navigating his inner journeys in Canada.
 

It is entirely about tricking the physical mind and body. What a stark insightful find.

Captured by my friend below, Ayia Napa, 1996 

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✵ 𝐗𝐈. The Evolution of Trade-Offs


Having repeatedly experienced ecstasy hidden in agony — and sorrow lurking inside ecstasy — it felt imperative to unpack this enigmatic continuum. It became essential for someone who survived a heavy, multi-year traumatic graveyard.

Carrying on in the BBC report regarding physical exertion: 

“The pain of intense exercise also causes a spike in another of the body’s painkillers, anandamide. Known as the ‘bliss chemical’, it binds to cannabinoid receptors in the brain to block pain signals and induce the warm, fuzzy pleasure emulated by marijuana, which binds to the same receptors. Adrenaline, also produced in response to pain, adds to the excitement by raising the athlete’s heart rate.”



In a chapter titled Pain and Pleasure: Masters of Mankind, neuroscientist Kent C. Berridge, 

“In terms of evolutionary psychology, both seeking pleasures and avoiding pains are essential for our survival and may compete for preference within the brain. In the face of a large food reward, which can only be obtained at the cost of a small amount of pain, for instance, it would be beneficial if the pleasurable food reduced pain unpleasantness. Cabanac (2002) argues that the brain must contain a common currency that allows motivations for pleasures and pains to be weighed against each other.”

These decisions involving trade-offs between costs and benefits make perfect sense. 



I am entirely capable of dedicating four hours to cooking, simply because I know the sensory payoff will be a mouthwatering, filling, and fulfilling meal. My 29-ingredient Jambalaya with salmon and shrimps is a testament to this; it requires quite some patience and functions as a live exercise in active meditation.



From a scientific stance, one practical implication of this shared currency research is the refinement of pain medications — allowing drugs to target distress while producing minimal side effects.


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✵ 𝐗𝐈𝐈. The Coincidentia Oppositorum

In another Behavioral Scientist article, The Pleasures of Pain and the Pains of Pleasure, professor of psychology Paul Bloom writes:

“Plato describes Socrates rubbing his aching leg and saying, ‘How strange would appear to be this thing that men call pleasure! And how curiously it is related to what is thought to be its opposite, pain! If you seek the one and obtain it, you are almost bound always to get the other as well.’”




Centuries before the birth of modern neuroscience, Baruch Spinoza and René Descartes similarly held that sensory suffering and ecstasy belong to a singular emotional continuum. They are part of one synchronised movement in action, intermingled in constant flux.



Like the Yin Yang relationship between light and darkness, or the conscious and the subconscious, one cannot exist without the other — its reflection. Again, there is degree of pleasure in the pain as there is a degree of pain in the pleasure. Yet, they are clearly not diametrical opposites in a literal sense, nor do they contradict each other. 


This echoes seamlessly with a previous text of mine A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum. 

“This is the concept of Coincidentia Oppositorum, which is Latin for Coincidence of Opposites or Unity of Opposites. Those two components — the poles — are not antithetical, incompatible, or incongruent, but they are in fact complementary. One is needed to provide contrast for the other. Both are necessary to the balance of the ‘system’. For the road up and the road down are the same road. ...

The metaphysical framework was first declared by the pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Heraclitus. Later, in the 15th century, the German polymath Nicholas of Cusa coined the Neoplatonic term Coincidentia Oppositorum. In On the Vision of God, he beautifully described the phenomenon as: “The wall of paradise, beyond which is God.”


Another reflective piece about the non-local oneness beyond the seeming polarity is Dance With Your Demons — and your angels will clap and sing along.    

 

 

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✵ 𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. The Governance of the Masters


Like the “Runner’s High,” an excess in one extreme inevitably pulls through the other. Pain frequently does feel good. 

Think of how intense training exercising (no pain no gain), wild unconditioned sex — specifically BDSM — eating volatile spices, or even having the blues can alter and inspire our state of consciousness. Also transform our perception and experience of reality. 



Here, the neurophysiological, emotional, and psychological elements interact to translate distress into ecstasy — facilitating the experience of pain as pleasure.
 Like crying, the body finds itself moaning or screaming from raw discomfort as well as from joy, surprise, or pure excitement.


The English philosopher Jeremy Bentham studied these hedonic frequencies, writing: 

“All good feelings were pleasures, and “pain” could describe all that humankind sought to avoid”. Also, “Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do.”

Knowing this data, my past actions became  transparent. 

Looking back at my addiction years, I was dreading withdrawal symptoms so fiercely — since those early agonising detoxes were burned deep into the memory of my nervous system — that my survival mode would push me to do anything to evade that trauma. In other words, to keep getting high... again and again.



The extraordinary human imagination multiplies the suffering. As the Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca illuminated: “We suffer more in our imagination more often than in reality.” 







The addicted mind operates on an automated autopilot script, reducing the individual to a compliant zombie. While experiencing pain is a fundamental human reality, fearing the sensation remains a strict choice.


True suffering lies within that very choice — inside the abyss between the life you wish you had and the one you are actively creating; between the desire to heal from past hurts and the desire not to repeat them in the future. 

It is a gentle reminder that we create our own reality, as authors of our own parameters, and true sufferings are mostly self-induced.   
 

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✵ 𝐗𝐈𝐕. The Shadow of the Board





On the surface, pain and pleasure do not oppose each other; a fine, murky line separates them. They are only true opposites if we choose to think in binary, dualistic, or linguistic terms — lexical semantics. 



In truth, whenever we place our attention on one, we are inherently standing in the shadow of the other. As Khalil Gibran poetically captures in his masterpiece, The Prophet:



“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. ... Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”



Both forces are part of the same system. We cannot grasp the scale of one without expanding into the other. 

If self-realisation is the ultimate intention, both principles, both movements must be thoroughly investigated, observed, faced, and honoured as they are. They cant be treated as a projected image, or as a positive/negative emotional and cognitive loop to chase or escape from. They must be realised neutrally — for what they essentially are. 



Pain is pain; pleasure is pleasure. It is our automated reactions — build upon past memories and attachments — that breed our suffering. 



This was the core lesson the Buddha delivered to his disciples: Discovering that the desire not to desire is still a desire, and our frantic attachment to the script is what causes us to obsess and ultimately suffer.

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✵ 𝐗𝐕. Riding the Dragon



 “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
― Carl Jung  

Establishing that a distinct continuum exists between our traumas and ecstasies — our pains and pleasures — provides a stark clarity. It systematically removes the veil of ignorance, helping us better navigate this volatile and dynamic couple.


This novel self-knowledge is physically capable of altering our neural wiring, permanently breaking through our automated conditioning.


If we cling to the formatting of past wounds by attempting to block them — or frantically avoiding future discomfort out of raw fear — we directly paralyse the fluid balance of an eternally ceaseless cosmic dance.


The same paralysis occurs when we chase future ecstasies, neurotically identifying with and hunting them.


When the natural momentum of this internal vortex is perturbed through our desperate attachments, our judgement is muddled. The cognitive associations compromise our ability to choose what is best for the organism.


To dissolve this conditioning and repair the internal systemic imbalance, a deliberate recalibration of the corresponding neural circuitry must follow. Neuroplasticity has proven that we are fully capable of executing this structural change on a neurophysical level.

A major benefit of examining these sensory forces comes about when we learn to utilise both dynamics, rather than letting them command us.


Only when both currents are accepted as standard parameters of the human condition can one begin to inspire the other. It allows you to ride the dragon, if you will, so it can carry you to unmapped territories. Only when they are processed neutrally for what they essentially are can we gracefully coexist with both, and hence become whole.


When core truth is sought, experiencing both extremes remains essential — hopefully without drowning in either, and without allowing fear or desire to sabotage the raw observation. Active reflection, meditation, and quiet contemplation are the tools that facilitate this balance.


Perhaps they can even guide us to extract profound meaning from the suffering.


Pain and Pleasure are s̶o̶m̶e̶h̶o̶w̶ devilishly connected.

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After dissecting this captivating, multi-dimensional relationship, it appears evident that they are not merely devilishly linked as instinctively guessed back in 2013. They share a fundamentally inseparable, interrelated, and entirely reconcilable bond.


Whenever either pole is frantically pursued, we are naturally inviting its shadow counterpart into the room. Yet, both frequencies remain necessary to maintain the ultimate balance of the system.


We can now confidently remove the ‘somehow’.

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SOURCES:

Pleasure, Pain Activate Same Part of Brain, Harvard Gazette

 

The Pleasures of Pain and the Pains of Pleasure by Paul Bloom, Behavioral Scientist

 

Pain in the Past and Pleasure in the Future: The Development of Past–Future Preferences for Hedonic Goods, Cognitive Science

 

Why Do We Remember Pain?, How Stuff Works

 

Why Pain Feels Good, BBC Future 

 

On Joy and Sorrow by Khalil Gibran, Poets.org

 

Pain and Pleasure: Masters of Mankind by Siri Leknes and Irene Tracey from a book titled Pleasures of the Brain by Morten Kringelbach and Kent Berridge

What Is the Relationship between Pain and Emotion? Bridging Constructs and Communities, Neuron, Cell.com

 

Chapter 5 — 5th Public Talk, Saanen — 21st July 1981,  Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

The Prophet by Khalil Gibran 

 

Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer, One Lucky Soul  

A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum, One Lucky Soul   

 

 

 

ALSO VIEW:

The Intertwining of Genius and Insanity

The Intertwining of Music and Sexuality ― A Djembefola’s Tale

 

A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum

 

Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer 

Dance With Your Demons

Addiction Talk: A Look Down The Trenches (2026)

Holding the Megaphone: A Decade of Alchemical Gold and Confessional Exorcisms (2026)

Opiated Then Hatin’ It

 

Who Are We?

My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence

How Drumming Changed The Way My Brain Processes Music

Different Shades of Passion

The Parable Of The Cow: You Are Not Your Thoughts

Why We Should Not Fear Death

Change Is The Only Constant

Why I Share Stuff

For The Love Of Storytelling

 

20 Things Learned From a 48-Minute Terence McKenna Talk on Hermeticism and Alchemy

The Significance of Letting Go

 

 

 

Dealing with High Awareness and Empathic Accuracy

High awareness can be a double-edged sword if you don’t know how to channel it.

In 2016 I wrote the above reflection and the following is a further elaboration based on life experiences as well as some vigorous research.


I recently saw a middle-aged man picking up cigarette butts from the main sand-ashtray by my building in Venice Beach. Later that same day, I saw another one pick up the leftover from the nearby garbage. This got me pondering and reminded of a time not so long ago when witnessing things like these would deeply affect me.


One of the first times I specifically recall is when in the mid ’90s I went with my mother to an orphanage in Cairo where I got to meet a ‘sister’, Camellia, who must have been around 10 or 11-years-old then. I had heard a lot about the place from my mom and aunt, and how they sustain the girls by paying for their education and donating clothes, but I have never met the girls or been there myself. 



After meeting Camellia and Mabrouka, the girl my aunt was sponsoring, and the rest of the young orphan girls, at some point 20-year-old me was overwhelmed by such intense emotions, that I had to leave the room and go out to wipe my tears without anyone noticing. Having a pony tail, goatee, and dark Oakleys on — which helped conceal the flood coming down from my eyes — I did look like a cool, masculine guy who got it together. Though from the inside, the sensation or the energy I was picking up was haunting me. And it came out in the form of tears.



Occurrences like these were a constant in my life, but I didn’t know what to make of them. I knew it wasn’t some sort of weakness as it may be portrayed, because I never saw myself as a weak person. Yet they caused me a considerable amount of chagrin. 



This hyperawareness of thoughts and emotions was radically intensified after my induction to mind-altering entheogens at around the same time, and has been growing ever sense. At the time, to deal with those new, expanded doors of perceptions I felt the need to block them in certain ways. Simply because I was overthinking my acute awareness, which had a direct impact on my emotions. The continual flow of information was too much to handle as I didn’t know what to do with it.


Moreover, living a fortunate life in Egypt made me think of the other 70 millions or so who are barely alive. I have tried many different paths to shut off the unceasing sensations and to find peace, but self-medicating with drugs was what had truly made me detach. Of course, this self-destructive coping strategy eventually ended up with an addiction problem.

Now, if you are one of those who sense ‘things’ so intensely and can seamlessly put themselves in others’ shoes you cannot help but to feel quite different at some point. You begin thinking if there might be something wrong with you. But there isn’t, you see. Truth is, heightened awareness is a gift. As I found out later in life, just like all gifts, you simply need to learn how to channel it.


Years after when I healed myself from the painkillers, it took me a while to be able to deal with the outside world without being zonked on some substance or the other. After leaving everything behind and moving to Toronto and getting healthy, I came to realise that coming back to life was overwhelming to my mind as well as to my senses. After all, I numbed mine for almost a decade, so they needed enough time to heal. Not just from the dependence, but from the mindset as well. 



At the time, my senses were awakening from their deep slumber; they were revived and their acuity intensified even more, which is a natural advanced phase in the recovery process. After leading a toxic life for years, I was back to spending time outdoors, going on camping trips, and learning how to cook while remembering how to properly feed myself. 

The term “emotional sobriety” is often used to explain that transgressive stage past the physical sobriety.

I recall once then seeing a blind man getting on the subway with my dog Caramella and I. The mere fact that he was living his life and riding the subway made me feel like such a pansy. I have had all the health and opportunities anyone could ask for yet chose to screw up with my chemistry and biology. So my eyes opened up like tap water. 


Another time also in Toronto, one sunny morning I was in the balcony when I saw a 10-year-old boy on a wheelchair playing tennis in front of my building. I was so bewitched by the scene, that I took the camera and Caramella and went down to get a closer look. I was able to stealthily capture a few shots, one of which is featured below. My eyes were uncontrollably sobbing here as well as recounted in Photos I Shot That Brought Tears To My Eyes.

“Your Only True Disability Is In Your Mind”

So the extra sensation was indeed still there. It is part of who I am and there is no running away from your own psyche. No matter how hard and long you try to block the flow, you need to accept, befriend, and love who you are if you ever want to be able to peacefully deal with that outside world.



Then, through some practice over the course of several years, and after enough emotions had come out, I unburdened myself from my own unresolved issues. When I did that, I stopped getting exceedingly affected by my surrounding energies as I used to. I have found a way to shield myself from being bombarded by the constant flow of information. It is like setting up some kind of protective shell around you; not as a bubble to disconnect as it happens with drugs, but more of a selection tool which allows you to filter the input while directing your awareness of it towards something useful.



How did I tune my antennas? Through a combination of Conscious Living, mindfulness, meditation, solitude, and, artistic creativity. 

During this time of change I took writing as a vocation and began sharing my life. A little bit after, I received a message from a reader, telling me that I must be an empath: a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), as someone with Extrasensory Perception (ESP). She also predicted that I am an INFJ regarding the Personality Test devised by Carl Jung, which she was right about. However, recently the ‘Judging’ has slightly been surpassed by ‘Perceiving’ as I found out when I retook the test in later years — making me more of an INFP.

I was acquainted with Jung’s test, yet didn’t know the word ‘empath’. After reading about the phenomenon, everything made perfect sense. Most, if not all, the common traits were familiar to me and I could relate to them. Needing solitude to recharge, an ecclesiastic kind of bonding with animals, and dislike of crowded places, drama, tension, and, yes, TV. I was truthfully happy there was a term for what I have been experiencing for most of my life, as I was happy to know that I was not alone.

Interestingly, many more readers throughout the following years have reached out to me, mentioning being empaths themselves. The occurrence is certainly widespread and a quick scroll through Google would show you an abundance of related studies, articles, and online tests. Some were more legit than others, yet the term ‘empath’ seems to be everywhere nowadays, including social media.  

Further research was needed to better understand the case.


A term used in psychology to describe what is an ‘empath’ is Empathic Accuracy or Mindsight. Coined in 1988 by psychologists William Ickes and William Tooke, it describes how one person can accurately infer the thoughts and feelings of another person. It had been found that some people can process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly than others. This “sixth sense” gives them the ability to ‘read’ others’ emotions, motivations, and mindsets, which do not necessarily appear on the surface.

In 1990s, another term to follow was coined by psychologists Elaine Aron and husband Arthur Aron: Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). It is described as a personality trait which defines a highly sensitive person (HSP). It includes hypersensitivity to external stimuli, a greater depth of cognitive processing, and high emotional reactivity. 

Empathic Accuracy allows one to see beyond what others project; behind the mask we all tend to wear — the unedited version. 

This is why it usually doesn’t take an empath more than a few moments to see through a person’s essence, even if they just met. It is also why it may be significantly hard to lie to them.

On the same note, from the side of the empath, once you start seeing through people’s bullshit it becomes almost impossible to pretend that you cannot see. It is as if you actually sort of force others to get real with you.

Bear in mind that being an ‘empath’ is different than “feeling empathy” or being merely sensitive.  It is coupled with sincere compassion and a certain degree of intuition. It is also linked to other psychological concepts such as Mentalisation as well as the field of cognitive neuroscience. 

The reason I am saying this is that throughout the past several years, we can see that the term ‘empath’ seems to have become à la mode — being loosely used left and right, particularly on social media and within the New Age realm. It seems that for some, identifying as an empath, or rather overly publicising it, is done to either feel special about oneself or to attract attention, or perhaps a certain degree of both.

In the age of technology and instant gratification, today the Internet is full of 10-question Am I An Empath quizzes, which are largely designed to make people feel good about themselves.   Fortunately, however, there are equally sources about “fake empaths” and how, depending on its usage, the term has almost become synonymous to narcissist.   

As such, at some point during my inquiry I had to ask myself if I was not one of those people. In hope to keep my views balanced, as much as possible, I wondered if what I feel — or have been feeling — deep within my inner being is real? Could it be a mere illusion, or some kind of weakness and/or vulnerability?

Then I remembered this peculiar sensation reaching my each and every nerve ending along with the tears accompanying it. As mentioned, this kept naturally occurring throughout many years when I would come across a sad sight or possibly even think about one. And not everyone can unwillingly jump into people’s shoes or feel things so intensely in such a way. But some indeed can.

Empaths, it seems, are born with strong awareness centres in their brain, which leads them to be highly sensitive. However, in the absence of emotional maturity and a wholesome understanding of life, this gift can indeed be a double-edge sword. It can turn into a curse that causes disruption, imbalance, and ultimately suffering. Just because one has high awareness and sensitivity does not mean they have enough wisdom to understand what life is about. Think of how being a highly sensitive kid could be alienating to them, even crippling at times.

Accordingly, empathic minds are dubbed “emotional sponges” because they are able to ‘catch’ the energies of others. The picking up often happens subconsciously without them realising it; the positive energies as well as the negative, which naturally becomes quite overwhelming. Thoughts and emotions can flow through them so deeply, that if they don’t know how to protect themselves it will be exceedingly hard to lead happy lives. 



As a defence mechanism and as a distraction, some can lose themselves in others and their problems. A reason why HSPs frequently seek relief or escape in substance abuse or overeating among a multitude of other compulsive behaviours.

The same spirit echoes with what the sage mystic Manly P. Hall had eloquently expressed in Adventures in Understanding.

“The emotions of man are far more powerful than his mind, and the emotions have never been well educated. We have marvellous universities for the training of the mind; we have magnificent institutions where individuals are given skills in arts and sciences; but the emotions are almost completely immature and undisciplined.”


In relationships, there are no average for empaths. It is rather more of an either-or world. Either they would be living happy, intimate, successful relationships with their partners, or, ones which aren’t truly functional. The reason of the dysfunctionality may be due to their incapacity to deal with their own heightened sensitivities, or it may be due to their partners’ inability to relate. Without compromise, eventually a gap between them is birthed and separation might follow.

If you happen to be in a relationship with an empath, this List of things to remember should be useful.



Conventional wisdom teaches that true understanding of life develops through observation, experience, introspection, and reasoning. One must equally possess empathy and compassion to be able to relate to their fellow Brethren. Empathy, however, is a multidimensional construct which differs from person to person.

This brings us to what is known as Emotional Intelligence (EI) — or Emotional Quotient (EQ) — which is the ability to recognise, identify, and manage our own emotions as well as those of others. In regards of being fully human, said intelligence of the heart, or its awareness, may seem more important than the brain intelligence, or IQ. For sometimes, what we need is a warm heart rather than a brilliant mind.

Conversely, according to studies in the field of neuroscience, to achieve empathic accuracy, emotional empathy must be coupled with cognitive empathy — Theory of Mind, the one relying on reasoning rather than sole emotions.

That is to say that for a balanced approach, cognitive empathy should play a fundamental role in the equation. 

You only need to consider the myriads of intelligent people who are not leading happy lives due to being emotional wrecks. This is due to an imbalance between the thoughts in their heads and their emotions. As long as there is no reconciliation between both parts, trouble will always remain.

On that same note, Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer is another piece dedicated entirely to the topic.

Further research has shown that the ability to empathise with the pain of others “is rooted in cognitive neural processes that differ from the strictly sensory processes used to perceive and experience one’s own pain”.

Still, beyond the brain and the heart, the third and perhaps the ‘highest’ and most altruistic and influential type of empathy is Compassionate Empathy. While cognitive empathy is being aware of the emotions of others, and emotional empathy is sensing them, compassionate empathy is a selfless desire to help them deal with their own emotions and situations.

As we have seen, the key for an empath lies in ‘channelling’ what their awareness picks up from the collective consciousness. Picking the signals up, welcoming them as guests, then letting them go; as if meditating and dealing with our own thoughts and emotions. There is not need to fret or obsess about the sensory input, just observe and release. This is the only way to protect yourself and your gift while gaining inner knowledge and remaining of service to the world. With enough practice, the energy shield around you will happen to filter the incoming data all naturally.

For more details, check Empathic Perspective, which is a well-presented blog dedicated to empaths. 


“If you feel pain, you are alive. And if you feel other people’s pain, you are a human being.”
— Leo Tolstoy

Tears are how the soul cleanses itself; embrace them.
Art by Noella Ledrew

Now, when I see those poor guys picking from the trash or a homeless guy reading a book, it still touches me as I still sense their pain. Yet, I choose to reflect upon it, maybe even write about it, rather than carrying it on and feeling sorrow and remorse or thinking about how unfair life is and tear up. This is where art and creativity came to my rescue; this is how I found a way to express myself.

It is of significance to mention that without having dealt with my own emotional baggage, nothing was going to change when it comes to getting affected by those every-day life scenes and interactions with others. The only thing they do is get what is already inside out to the surface. Therefore we need to let go if we ever want to set ourselves free. 

I further taught myself how to see that little light in every darkness — the other side of the coin — by remembering to be grateful for what I have. I use these moments to connect to my humanhood and fellow Earthlings while always trying to perceive the good in every situation, no matter how small or hidden it may be. 


Finally, I came to accept the misfortunes and suffering in the world, which is the only way to overcome evil. There will always be wars and murder and rape and abuse among more awful acts. Though I’m not carrying that inexplicable “Messiah Complex” burden over my shoulders anymore. It is such a relief which younger me thought would never come. But it did and I felt liberated. Existence feels lighter and it even seems that you breathe better.

Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier is a list article covering what else was done beside all this. 




As humans with a language made up of symbols, we tend to put labels on everything we perceive and experience. Unbeknownst to us, this tends to confuse the observation or experience itself — our reality — with our thoughts and emotions about them. The brain then creates its own scenarios which eventually come to convince us that this is it. But we are not our thoughts as I have previously discussed in The Parable Of The Cow. 



“We are conscious of them, while they are not conscious of us. They don’t sit to think about us and ruin their day and life; they barely even know us. It’s actually us who create them; it’s us who bring upon the nonsense...

…Thoughts come and go. They are ephemeral, they are transient, they are temporary; just like the ocean waves, always in motion. We, are not. We are temporary only in the physical sense.”


True awareness lies in the power of pure observation. It is our ability to observe without the corresponding thoughts and emotions; no analysis, judgement, evaluation, or obsession are needed. Our thoughts are programmed to create interpretations of the outside world in the same way sensations create emotions. Imaginary ‘events’ then invade the mind. They create problems that were never there and drain our energy, which is followed by worrying and overthinking about the imaginary scenarios. It could truly lead to a miserable loop of a life... or madness. 


This whole process, however, can be observed through pure awareness. When you go higher than the non-sense our thoughts and emotions usually generate you end up by not taking part in it; in the same way an eagle rises above the storm. A reason how the fuscous storms life occasionally throws at us teach us how to fly. For in each cloud there is a silver lining.



To achieve such clarity and reach peace of mind one should train themselves to assume the role of the observer, even the observer of the observer if they are seeking a higher plane of knowledge. In truth, we can be aware of the thoughts, emotions, and surrounding as a pure observer without trying to analyse, interpret, or change the course of nature. This is how high awareness and empathetic accuracy give us the change to smoothly flow through life without being negatively affected by whatever is going on around us.



Be Water, My Friends.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
― Rumi

ALSO VIEW:

Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer

What Is Fear of Abandonment and How to Overcome It

Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier
 
Who Are We?

My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence
 
The Parable Of The Cow: You Are Not Your Thoughts 

What Is Overcompensation?

What Being Conscious Means

The Significance of Letting Go

Photos I Shot That Brought Tears To My Eyes

Why We Should Not Fear Death

Change Is The Only Constant

Codependency: What Being Addicted To Someone Means