Monday, 19 January 2015

The Parents Dilemma

On several occasions, younger folks write me saying that their parents are standing between them and their happiness. Well, if the parents reject all rational notions concerning You pursuing what You think is good for You, then the only way out if you don’t simply want to pack and leave is to be a “case.”

You just have to keep your focus on one direction and if they really love you — as good parents should — then they will eventually give in and support whatever decision you have taken. That’s the responsibility bit of the whole maturing process. And being a “case” is how you tame your parents, if you will.

If, however, they kick you out or cut you off, then it would still be better for you than to submit and live unhappy. For uncertainty with a chance of happiness wins over certainty with guaranteed unhappiness any day.

Unless of course if the choice is clearly bad for you, like becoming a professional hooker or something. But if you’re determined in such case then it would probably be better to pack and leave.

Without going through this experience of choice, you will remain immature. And being your parents, they will always see it in your eyes; they will always have the upper hand in that power struggle dance. I have explained before in The Parable of the Young Lion why it is vital to detach from the family, even if for some while.

The driving force behind parents opposing their children is usually out of fear and attachment — not love. Many imagine a future life for their children. But when the children chose a different path, the parents get confused, often insisting that the children pursue the life they had imagined for them. That's when the clashes begin.

So as a final word, the only way out is to stand up for what you believe in, kiddo, and follow that dream. No one other than you knows what is best for you. And remember, everything changes for the better the day you start treating your parents as human beings and not as a source of authority.

Be grateful for the life they gave you. Love and respect them, but don't lose your life trying to please them. For you will never end up happy if you did.

Be Yourself, no matter what.

Also View:

The Parable of the Young Lion
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