One Lucky Soul: August 2015

Wednesday 19 August 2015

OLS Reflections Venti — The Quiescently Unfun Ones

“Moon Shadow”

Exactly one year later, I give you number 20 of the OLS Reflections...

Jalapeñonated: Being so assertive and dogmatic in one's opinions that your face turns red and you start sweating and tearing.

Square toilet seats for round buttocks are like pizza boxes for pizzas. They may fit but that’s not it.

Besturbing: Causing anxiety and worry in the most excellent, outstanding way.

StaYin Yang ☯

Have you tried McDonald’s new seizure salad? You'd butter not.

According to recent studies, intelligent people use more curse words than smart-arse mumfuckers.

Victoria’s secret is that she’s a starving 11-year-old model.

Xgeva, Xanax, Xtandi, Xalkori, Effexor, Dexedrine, Benzedrex, Subutex, Suboxone, Desoxyn, Zaltrap, Zyprexa, Zykadia, Zelboraf, Zyrtec, Zytiga, Zestril, Zocor, Zantac, Zoloft, Zyban, Otezla, Benzedrine. Pharmaceutical companies choose to add the letters ‘X’ and ‘Z’ to the names of their meds so that we find them compleX and believe they know what they’re talking about.
مُختَرِع الأوهو كان أمير من اللاذقية. أمه كان اسمها ست الكللة وأبوه كان هاري نفسه سكوتش

Some folks hear voices. Some see invisible people. Some can taste music. Others can smell colours. And then there are those who have no imagination whatsoever.

David Healey doing his thing at the Venice Beach Drum Circle

ALSO VIEW:

OLS Reflections Setenta e Cinco — The Dazzlingly Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections Settantatre — The Flagrantly Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections 71 — The Frightfully Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections Sixty-Six — The Outrageously Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections 64 — The Dangerously Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections Sessantadue — The Scandalously Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections 60 — The Sensationally Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections 五十八 — The Shamelessly Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections Fifty-Six — The Notoriously Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections Dreiundfünfzig — The Playfully Unfun Ones

OLS Reflections Cinquante-et-Un — The Corruptly Unfun Ones

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Meet Alf عقبة [ Video]

A couple of years ago on a summer trip to Egypt I was lucky to spend two full months on the Mediterranean Northern Coast with the family. It was great to reunite with all of them in that peaceful setting.

During that time I had a passionate date with a sweet young woman which inspired me to write a lighthearted bilingual song. The point was to sing it to my grandmother, Karima, who was 92 years old then and almost in Stage 5 of Alzheimer. The lyrics are not really addressing her, but the word play and the rhymes were all that made her laugh out loud.

She already couldn’t recognise some of us, especially myself who had been away for several years. She actually had to ask every time she sees me in the house, to which I patiently comfort her by trying to remind her that I’m the son of her daughter Mervet, which makes her my grandmother. She would look amazed, and repeats: YOU are the son of Mervat?! ( معقولة ) — or really? She was not able to connect the dots, yet she would smile and let it go. Then it’s repeated all over again the next time.

So to add some fun and novelty sometimes I would introduce myself as “the drummer” or “the entertainer or joker” who’s here to sing to you and make you laugh. Then I proceed with some light drumming and/or simple word play. She has always loved to laugh, dance, and have a good time; and when she lost part of her mind, that didn’t change much. Even though the feeling of being lost in her head, she still had that ability to laugh from the heart — even if it is only temporary and only on occasions. And I loved to help her get there. Simply because laughter is the best of medicine. It certainly is worth it.

After all, I had lived with her for two years as a 6 and 7-year old when my parents were away. I hold that this time has truly shaped my character and who I am as a person. It was also her who taught me what unconditional love is. So adding some laughter to her confused existence was nothing but a humble thank you for everything.

Meet Alf عقبة

Lyrics

I had a date ...................... و إتشاقيت

I couldn’t be late ................ بس عطيت

يا سلام عالبهجة ................. ’t was so great

Long walk on the beach ...... و مرح فالغيط

البنت لذيذة ............... She hightened my state

Too happy am I ...................... فقمت غنيت

Wonder if she’ll change ...... و نلبس فالحيط

I really hope not .................. لاحسن أنا استويت

ده كلام مكتوب ....... Destiny & Fate

Thing is .................... لو إستنيت

شعري هايشيب ................. Offside و Checkmate

وأنتخه فالبيت و أنتخه فالبيت

وقعاد فالبيت و قعاد فالبيت

And that is why ................ في ذاك الديت

أنا مانسيت إني افتريت

And that is why ................ في ذات الديت
أنا رحت و جيت أنا رحت و جيت

And that is why ................ في هاك الديت
اللي عندي إديت اللي عندي إديت

و يا سلام عالفرحة ................. ’t was so great

Too happy I am ...................... فقمت غنيت

و كيت و كيت .......... See you after 8

See you after 8 ......... و كيت و كيت

Young Karima el Gammal in Ras el Bar

With younger blonde sister Madiha in Ras el Bar

With my grandfather Yehia Hassan and first daughter Mahy at the Pyramids

Karima with her two daughters Mahy and Mervat (mother)

Another with the kiddos

Karima at the farm in Sarawa

Grandma with baby Omar in her Zamalek balcony in Cairo

Agami 1978

Our trip to Hawai in 1989

Sweet collage made by my sister Karima who was named after her and has also lived with
her for a while later in life

Photo I took of her in 1999 in the Northern Coast of Egypt (Sahel) when she was still smoking her More

Fun Grandma happily dancing on a boat trip to Aswan in 2001

Another capture of Grandma and sunburned boy who had just come back from a few months training
in Dubai and Abu Dhabi and about to enter the adult world — taken by the coast in 2001

That day I came back from sunset drumming on the beach and introduced myself to her as “the drummer”.
Then I played for her sister Khadiga and herself — taken on my last summer there when the song was written

Karima el Gammal, Northern Coast of Egypt on August 23 2016

Her final 94th Birthday in Cairo, February 2017

ALSO VIEW:

Francophun يا Waladé

StaYin Yang ☯

Poème Tragique

Lunacy — A Poem Written When I Was 19

Coming Back To The Real

Beth's Death — A Poem Written When I Was 21

Mima 56 — A Poem About My Younger Sister Written When I Was 20

Lunacy — A Poem Written When I Was 19

Coming Back To The Real

Beth's Death — A Poem Written When I Was 21

Mima 56 — A Poem About My Younger Sister Written When I Was 20

Sunday 16 August 2015

Living The Unreal Life

I was speaking to someone recently when I told them that I don't like beer. They said “Yeah, me neither,” as they sipped from a beer bottle. This was weird because I saw them having beer for three days in a row. They even told me they had bought a whole case not so long ago.

This little encounter made me think of all the other times the same had happened. Like for example, another person who told me that, like myself, they don't like going out at night anymore, yet they still do it, and religiously too. Or the other one who always says they love their grey corporate life, yet feels the need to run away from it every couple of months.

So what’s the story with such people? Is it just to agree with me? If not, then why would they keep doing something they claim they do not like? And more importantly, how can the lying ― or the denial ― be so amateurish?   

Well, I have always had the gift of detecting lying. Now that I’m generally more conscious, the process became even way simpler. It’s actually all about energy ― their vibe; and energy doesn't lie. But the thing is, I have no interest in confronting those who lie to me, so I rarely ever do. Instead, I plainly and unapologetically keep my distance.

The reality is, when the goal is to feel better about their lives and selves, humans often choose to disregard the truth and focus on lies. Our minds, in fact, are full of elaborate excuses and comforting justifications which we attempt to convince ourselves with.

That said, before agreeing ― or disagreeing ― with anyone, one must make sure they are not lying to themselves. Because, when you repeatedly lie to yourself you end up by believing the lies. And once that happens, one gets disconnected from their inner truth, which eventually leads to a barren life. Consequently, and as Fyodor Dostoyevsky clarified in The Brothers Karamazov, “...and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”  

This, however, is only the case if we do not stop and reflect every once and while; if we do not constantly observe and self-monitor ourselves.

Lying causes dis-ease; Truth is the cure. So always be who you are and say what you want. Keep it REAL, folks.

Friday 14 August 2015

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The 17-Year-Old Lebanese Belly Dancer

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Sunday 9 August 2015

The Bloke Who Thought I’m Too Much of an Alpha Male

One of my first rentals in Venice Beach when I first arrived there in March of last year was the attic of a majestic 1904 house. I was sharing the place with five other people, two cats, and a dog. Everything was going pretty smooth until one night we all went bowling.

One of the guys is an English starting actor in his early 30s. He is short, fit, and happens to be a boxer. We were all having drinks while we played except him as he had some lines to memorise.

At some point during the end, I headed towards him to ask about something he had told me he would hook me up with but never did. Then all of a sudden, the bloke punched me in the chest. I took a step backwards and tripped over a bowling shoe and fell. As some friends came to separate us, I got up and calmly told him:
What are you doing? Where is that anger coming from?

It seemed quite obvious to me at the time that the lad had some inner issues — probably with me personally but certainly also with himself.

This happening took me by complete surprise. And I do not mean the part where he punched me; I mean the part where, for the first time in my life, I didn’t react to violence using violence. This time, it felt like I wasn’t capable of getting angry as I used to.

The next morning I heard some knocking on my attic door. It was him asking if he could come up the stairs, to which I said yes. He apologised for what he did, saying that I’m like an older brother to him. I said it’s all good and even gave him a hug after we shook hands.

As I later pondered what happened, I felt proud of the new me. Back in the days, I would have blacked out and acted instantly, probably in a vicious way like it happened multiple times. This could be the first time in my life that I do not react, but choose to respond instead, and calmly too. It felt really wonderful to see the fruits of mastering oneself. The daily meditation must have been really doing the job.

Feeling proud of my novel, Gandhi-like behaviour, I shared the story on Facebook and got many encouraging comments.

What I haven’t shared, though, was the final confrontation I had with the bloke before leaving the house.

On my last day, I said goodbye to everyone as I was waiting for the cab. I then thought I’d also say goodbye to him since he was right there, perhaps with a little “friendly reminder”.

“Goodluck man, I hope your life works out great. And remember, he who angers you controls you,” I smilingly said after a handshake.

“No,” he defensively replied as he stood there in his towel.

So as the first time I told him when he came to apologise, I once again said that this anger stems from something within him, not from me. To get physical with anyone who is only talking to you about some random topic and not even causing you a threat is certainly not me, it’s him.

Stuttering, he said: “No, I don’t agree, you invaded my private space.”

“I was only talking to you  ,” I responded confidently.

“You were in my face that whole night. And you were drinking.”

“Being the only one who wasn’t drinking, that’s an even bigger reason why you should have never made it physical,” I told him, “I was SPEAKING to you and wasn’t threatening you in any way.”  

“Well, that’s what people like us do,” he confessed.

  “You mean angry people?” I cut him off.   “You know if this had happened a few years ago, I would have smashed your head with a bowling ball then get into a fit of hysterical laughter as I gaze at your bloody face in utter amusement. But now, I’m a peaceful warrior and my weapon is Love.”

Shaking his head in disagreement like an emotional child and stuttering even more: “No, you wouldn’t have been able to do that. Why do you think you can give me advice? You were doing drugs in your past and you like to drink and smoke.”

 Nothing really, only that I have lived four years more than you. And the fact that you bring this out now after I had once told you about my 20s means you’re out of things to say.

And then he finally spitted it out: “Since you came here…you’re so…Alpha Male... .” He really said that. Of course at the time I couldn’t hold smiling in disbelief. But it was a genuine Aha-Moment that spoke volumes.

Interestingly, he was the one who often wore only a towel around the house where three women lived, and he was the one boxing training every morning in the garden. So that “Alpha Male” thing is most probably a mere projection of his insecurity.
  
In my head then I realised that connecting with his inner person seems to be a lost cause. I found an insecure, troubled individual who is fighting himself and certainly not accepting it. I remember keeping my smile and telling him “Good luck man, take care. Maybe get a dog or something” before taking my bags and leaving. Not sure where that get a dog bit came from; but it came out as it is.

Having a knack for human behaviour and wanting to understand why things turned out this way, I later reflected upon what had happened between us during those first couple of weeks until that bowling night.

At the very start of my stay, I read the bloke a few lines I had written about sharing the house with him and the others. He said: It’s good that you write. I wish I could write, I don’t know how to.

Another time, I told him that since he trains almost everyday, drinking lots of water would be good for him. Oddly, he didn’t seem convinced and said that he doesn’t have to, or something like that.

A few days later, he mentioned to me that he’s always hungry. So I asked if he doesn’t usually eat full meals because he doesn’t cook. My assumption came from never seeing him cook and always seeing him nibbling on some nuts or other small snacks. Again, I felt him get slightly defensive, but I don’t think he denied it.

On more time, I jokingly told him: “If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?” And the guy had no idea what I was talking about. Being an English actor in his thirties, I thought he was kidding. But apparently he wasn’t, and he didn’t even know what The Wall by Pink Floyd is!

Then some days later we were alone in the kitchen when he said, “Too many fucking shitty jobs.” I nodded in agreement.

This is when I thought about his anger and linked it to his career as a starting actor in Hollywood and all the difficulties, rejections, and insecurities they have to face to make it.

So it appears to me that things have been building up until that bowling night. Whatever the bloke’s reasons were, getting physical is never justified.

You see, the fight angry people are fighting is not with others, it’s with themselves. Once we understand this, we can indeed lead a peaceful life even in the face of violence. For he who angers you truly controls you.

A couple of years afterwards I came to find out that he follows me on social media. Good for him.

ALSO VIEW:

Hotel Living: Then and Now

Countering Gentrification — Eating Cheap and Healthy in Venice Beach [With a List of Places and Their Menus]

Things I Couldn’t Quite Understand After Being On The Road For Seven Months

Why Hippies Are Sometimes Called Bohemians

The Joy of Being a Wanderer and the Credit Card Number

A Dollar & Thirty Four Cents in Me Pocket and Feeling Fine

Personal Questions I’m Often Asked and Their Answers

The Ashram Sweeper Who Blocked Me on Facebook

The Bloke Who Thought I’m Too Much of an Alpha Male

The Girl Who Wouldn’t Share Toilet Paper

Not Sleeping With a French Hooker at 14

The Spell of the Topless Redhead

The Night We Turned ‘Beast Mode’ On

The Night I Became a Stripper

The Day I Became Bill Gate’s Elevator Boy

Placebo Effect & The LSD Prank

The Joy of Being a Wanderer and the Credit Card Number

I Kissed a Grandma... and I Liked It

When Lady Ran Away

When The Puppies Ate The “Chocolate”

Tuesday 4 August 2015

Change Is The Only Constant

After I was done with some sunset beach drumming on the Northern Coast of Egypt, I happened to have a small chat with a couple of younger folks. They asked about the single event in my life which has forever changed me. I said drug addiction. Then as I later reflected upon this notion, I remembered how change is constantly in an ongoing perpetual motion; how everything is temporary and transitory and passes like the weather seasons; how change is the only constant.   

  The essence of life is that it reveals itself moment by moment. When you carefully think about it, we are constantly changing. We cannot seem to grasp or sense the change as it happens, because we’re always in the midst of it. Only when time passes do we take notice that it had already occurred. But from moment to moment, everything is metamorphosing. You and I, for one, have changed after reading and writing those lines.

As such, whenever we feel overwhelmed by many things we have to do one should simply take the very first step. For small daily improvements and innovations can lead to astounding achievements over time.

Like growth, change in general can be hard and painful. Though oftentimes it only looks as such on the surface. Being part of the unknown, people tend to be afraid of change. So they fight it, resist it, and try to control it. This resistance is what usually causes suffering; for it creates sorrow and disappointments. Change, however, only becomes hard and painful when resisted.

Change should simply be first dealt with acceptance. It is reality being manifested and we should naturally allow it by diving into it head first. One should never be afraid of change or new experiences, because this is how we grow and learn through life.

Again, our whole life is based on change. From morning to night, from season to season, from year to year, everything is always growing and transforming. Yet life doesn’t stop.

Resisting change is like trying to resist nature: It will never work. What we can change are the variables. We can change our reality by changing ourselves, by changing our perspectives, as how we look at things. Echoing with George Bernard Shaw’s true words: “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Indeed, the biggest fool of all is he who is unwilling to change his own mind.

But in the end, we can only control what we have power over. The rest, is not up to us. Hence there is no reason to worry about any of it. Do you part and let life flow as it always will.

That said, the only way to fully live the change and the new experiences is by not resisting; by joining the unavoidable dance; by embracing the chance to grow and learn which they offer us, especially if we want the change to go smooth and eurythmic. When we do so, we become at peace and in harmony with the nature of reality — synchronising with our ever-expanding universe.

Change, as we have seen, remains the only constant. Yet we can neither change the past, nor our ancestors, family, culture, or the outdated modes of thinking we grew up being surrounded by. What we can do is find a new way of looking at the present moment — the Here and Now. The new perception will lead to new modes of thinking, behaving, and living. This is how our present hence our reality can be changed. The present will then shape our future. Anything other than leading by example through our own self-transformation is a waste of time, energy, and life. For our journey is not about confronting or fighting old paradigms. The key is to create new, more evolved paradigms which will make the current ones obsolete.

A reminder of Buckminster Fuller piercing quotes: “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

On that same note, it does feel reassuring to know that progress is rarely linear. As time goes by, matters are constantly reshaped. They take new forms and frames, which may eventually reveal novel paths, directions, and destinations. This makes progress an ever-evolving process.   

Every once in a while we will probably be required to make one major big step; yet most of the time the advancement and growth happen little by little. The small changes add up and we never get ‘there’ overnight — wherever your ‘there’ is.

Sitting alone on this gorgeous Mediterranean beach, I went on with my contemplation. I remembered how during my 20s, the major ‘event’ was experimenting with psychedelics. Then it was the drug addiction. And then working in the corporate world for 10 years, followed by leaving my comfort zone and travelling to the unknowns of the other side of the world. Then again it was the decision to take Arts in general and writing in particular as vocations.  So it is a culmination of choices and experiences, one could say. Yet I never let any of them define me.

Ten years from now, most likely there will be another event or two. Because, everything is continuously and persistently changing. This, as I conceive, is what having a full eventful life is about.

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Change Is The Only Constant by Omar Cherif, One Lucky Sou

“Medius Terra” — Northern Coast of Egypt

ALSO VIEW:

Who Are We?

Personal Questions I'm Often Asked and Their Answers

Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier

What Is Fear of Abandonment and How to Overcome It

What Is Overcompensation?

The Significance of Letting Go

Codependency: What Being Addicted to Someone Means

The Parable of the Cow: You Are Not Your Thoughts

To Forgive Is Not To Reconcile

On Love and Attachment

Why We Should Not Fear Death

Monday 3 August 2015

Rare Historical Photos # 10 — Women’s Special Edition

A female mason overlooking the city of Berlin — Circa 1900

A female Lockheed engineer fixing a P-38 lightning
in Burbank, California — 1944

A group of female pilots exiting their B-17, Pistol Packin’ Mama
— Circa 1941-1945

A Muslim woman covers the Star of David of her Jewish neighbour
to avoid prosecution, Sarajevo — 1941

A Dutch woman refuses to leave her husband, a German soldier,
after Allied soldiers captured him. She followed him into captivity
— 1944

Women’s Liberation Coalition March in Detroit, Michigan —1970

A female Samurai warrior — Circa late 1800s

A suffrage activist protesting after "The Night of Terror" — (1917)

A captured Soviet soldier is given water by a Ukrainian woman — 1941

A concerned mother of seven, Florence Thompson, worrying about her
children during the infamous Dust Bowl — 1936

An L.A police officer looks after an abandoned baby napping
inside her desk drawer — 1971

A woman sipping a cup of tea mid the ruins following
the devastation of the London Blitz — 1940

American aviator and author Amelia Earhart was the first woman
to navigate across the Atlantic Ocean — 1928.
She mysteriously disappeared on July 2, 1937

American nurses arriving to help out in Normandy, France — 1944

A 106-year-old Armenian woman protecting her home
with an AK-47 — 1990

Anna Lee Fisher became the first mother in space — Circa 1980s.
Apart from her work with NASA, she was an American chemist
and an emergency physician.

Annette Marie Sarah Kellerman posing in a swimsuit that got her
arrested for indecency — Circa 1907. She was an Australian
professional swimmer, vaudeville star, film actress, and writer.

Brave Parisian women shielding their children from
German sniper fire — 1944

Ellen O’Neal was one of the first professional female skaters — 1976

Elspeth Beard was an Englishwoman who attempted to circumnavigate
the world by motorcycle. Her trek lasted 3 years — 1980s

Erika the 15-year-old Hungarian fighter who fought for freedom
against the Soviet Union — October 1956

Young women boxing on a Los Angeles rooftop — 1933

Female railroad workers gathering for lunch — 1943

Female snipers of the Soviet 3rd Shock Army — May 4, 1945

Filipino guerrilla, Captain Nieves Fernandez, shows a US soldier
how she killed Japanese soldiers during the occupation

Medicine Students in Afghanistan — 1962

Gertrude Ederle was the first woman to swim across
the English Channel — 1926

Kathrine Switzer became the first woman to run the Boston Marathon
despite attempts by the marathon organiser to stop her — 1967

Komako Kimura, a well-respected Japanese suffragist, marches in
New York — October 23, 1917.
Check The Comfort Women of the Imperial Japanese Army

Leola N. King was America’s first female traffic cop,
Washington D.C — 1918

Margaret Hamilton, lead software engineer of the Apollo Project,
stands next to the code she wrote by hand which was used to take
humanity to the moon — 1969