The Night Visitor

At some point during my stay in Venice Beach, a man and a woman were sharing the three-bedroom bungalow with me. They were both European and each of us had his own room. We were all pretty much the same age and we got along fine. 



After about a week living together, I went to the bathroom one night then came back to my room and shut the door. By the time I was in bed, I found the door open. I thought I didn’t close it properly, so I got half-up, reaching my hand and closed it, and went back to bed. It was almost pitch black. 



A moment later, the door opens again and someone stood there for a moment before spreading their arm to the nearby switch. I assumed they were trying to turn the light on. The switch in my room, however, is not the light, but it’s the fan. 



I could already see a fine, sexy female silhouette, which startled me. The girl living with us doesn’t have such curves, or so I thought. What the heck happened, I wondered while remaining under the cover, holding it in my hands like a terrified child. 



Before I keep going in my mind, the light in the bathroom was turned on and the door was closed. 


Alright, back to my self-talk. 



So…what just happened? 



I don’t know. But that was a really hot body. 



Well, forget about her body now. 



How can I forget and I feel betrayed by my own senses? It’s been more than a week after all and we’re sharing a house, dude. The girl was actually interested in you but she was not your type — character or physical wise. So how do you find her silhouette so appealing now? Are you that horny?



OK, let’s try to forget the body for a moment, please. Why did she come into your room at this time of the night and caused this commotion? Is that a sign she wants me/you? Should we head now and open her room door then stand there in our boxers with a Draw-Me-Like-One-of-Your-French-Girls pose and see what happens?



Is that your dirty mind or your wild imagination?  



You mean ‘ours’.



Oh I’m sorry, brainiac. 





Man, it was a full 15 minutes of deep thinking in the middle of the night before I took all these unanswered questions to bed. I seriously had zero idea about what could have happened. 



The next morning as I’m making coffee, I met my male mate in the kitchen and he had a female guest — a good-looking 20-something girl. I said hello to both, then almost unconsciously spitted it out.



“Did anyone come into my room last night?”



“Yes, it was me. I’m really sorry, I couldn’t find the light and I wanted to go to the bathroom but got lost,” she smilingly said. 



“It’s all good. The thing is, I was really confused because I thought it’s her — lowering my voice and pointing to the European woman’s room. And you’re not her — pointing at her curvy physique.



You even turned the fan on and I was quite hot, especially after you came in.



Ha-ha.”





Stories like these put the fun in living on the road and sharing homes with others.





ALSO VIEW:

Things I Couldn’t Quite Understand After Being On The Road For Seven Months

The Girl Who Wouldn't Share Toilet Paper

OLS Reflections Dix-Huit

• Oftentimes it is those coming from dysfunctional families who thrive the most in having functional families of their own. For they are driven by the need to get it right this time.

• I would choose uncertainty with a chance of happiness over certainty with guaranteed unhappiness on any given day.

• Essentially, a woman needs someone who can listen to what she isn’t saying.

• The primary purpose of eating healthy, exercising, and living the conscious life in general is feeling good rather than just looking good.

• If you don’t believe tomorrow will be a better day, most likely you will never build the motivation needed to make it a better day.

• There is a peculiar sense of serenity and humility in knowing that you can’t know it all. For the more you understand, the more you realize there is so much more to understand.

• You can measure the stupidity level of a certain population by how fast a rumour spreads through its people.

• The day you stop fearing death is the day you start living Life.

• A healthy dose of doubt, uncertainty, and skepticism is an essential preliminary of amelioration.

• Encourage all artists; for it’s how we get a glimpse of others’ realities. 
  
  
  
  

ALSO VIEW:

OLS Reflections

OLS Reflections Deux

OLS Reflections Vier

OLS Reflections Khamsa

OLS Reeflections Yedi

OLS Reflections 八

OLS Reflections Ten

OLS Reflections Onze

OLS Reflections 13

OLS Reflections Quince

OLS Reflections Sixteen

OLS Reflections تسعة عشر

OLS Reflections Veinte Uno

OLS Reflections 22

OLS Reflections Dreiundzwanzig

OLS Reflections Twenty-Four

OLS Reflections Vingt-Six

OLS Reflections Ventisette

OLS Reflections Veintinueve
 
OLS Reflections 30

OLS Reflections Ein Unddreißig

OLS Reflections  إثنان وثلاثون

OLS Reflections Thirty-Three

OLS Reflections Trentaquattro

OLS Reflections 37

OLS Reflections Trente-Neuf

OLS Reflections Forty  

OLS Reflections Einundvierzig

OLS Reflections — The Spiritual Edition 

OLS Reflections Cuarenta y Cuatro

OLS Reflections 45

OLS Reflections Quarantasette

OLS Reflections — The Unpublished Edition

OLS Reflections Forty-Nine

OLS Reflections 50 

OLS Reflections Cincuenta y Dos

 

OLS Reflections Cinquantaquattro

OLS Reflections पचपन 

OLS Reflections 57

OLS Reflections Cinquante-Neuf
 
OLS Reflections Sesenta y Uno
 
OLS Reflections ثلاثة وستون 

OLS Reflections Soixante-Cinq

OLS Reflections 67

OLS Reflections Sixty-Eight 

OLS Reflections 69 

 

OLS Reflections Soixante-Douze
 

OLS Reflections Settanta­quattro

 

OLS Reflections Seventy Six

OLS Reflections 77

 

OLS Reflections Setenta y Ocho

 

 

Rare Historical Photos # 8

A beach party in California, 1930

Border patrol service dogs waiting in line for dinner — Finland, 1940s

A Chinese immigrant family portrait — Oregon, 1890s

Salvador Dalí after finishing the portrait of the stunning Raquel Welch, 1965

A dapperly dressed young man at the London Stock Exchange, 1937

A first class suite on the Titanic

A Muslim Bandit in Xinjiang, China — circa 1915

What Hitler might have looked like in disguise according to the US Secret Service, 1944

 A cane flask as prohibition era accessory

A young Pablo Picasso standing in front of Le Bateau Lavoir, a famous Parisian hangout for 20th-century artists

Admiral Byrd’s snow cruiser near Framingham, Massachusetts in 1939. The spectacle caused a record 90 mile stretch traffic jam, with over 70,000 cars delayed.

Elvis Presley standing in his front yard in Memphis, Tennessee — 1956

The remains of the astronaut Vladimir Komarov, a man who fell from space — 1967

Frank Sinatra shaving, 1965

French weightlifter and 1920 Olympic champion Ernest Cadine posing in 1923

India's Taj Mahal in 1865. The grand palace was first opened in 1648.

Inventor of the bikini, Louis Reard, with a model in 1946. He named the swimsuit after a nuclear weapon test site because he thought it would cause an ‘explosive’ cultural reaction. I think it did.

Marilyn Monroe opens the USA-Israel Football International with a kickoff, 1959

Church Mobile, 1923

A Japanese woman wearing a kimono, 1896

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in the 1930s

Roller skates were the kool new thing in 1910

Saturday bath time in rural Spencer, Tennessee — 1939

Women's archery during the Summer Olympic Games in London, 1908

The shells from an allied bombardment on German lines, 1916.

The earliest known photo of Abraham Lincoln — believed to be taken circa 1846

The welcome parade for Queen Elizabeth's first official visit to Germany in 1965

Santa Monica Pier, 1877!

The world's first wedding car, 1903

ALSO VIEW:

Rare Historical Photos # 1

Rare Historical Photos # 2

Rare Historical Photos # 3

Rare Historical Photos # 4 

Rare Historical Photos # 5

Rare Historical Photos # 6 
  
Rare Historical Photos # 7

Rare Historical Photos # 9

Rare Historical Photos # 10 — Women's Special Edition 

Rare Historical Photos # 11

Rare Historical Photos # 12

Rare Historical Photos # 13
 
Early 1900s Paris in Colours

1920s Egypt in Colours

Rare Behind the Scenes


 

Things I Got Rid Of To Become Happier

As some of you already know, during those last few years I went through a self-transformation Renaissance. This means I had to let go of some habits, which were not serving me or my growth and evolution. Some of them were dragging me backwards, while others were simply not needed. So getting rid of those habits was the conscious thing to do.

Many years prior, I had already let go of more shallow, ego-driven things such as losing interest in conflict, competing, comparing, and judging — myself or others. So this, one could say, is a second wave of detachment. 



1- Drugs


It wouldn’t be right if I am writing this article and do not mention drugs. After self-medicating for years using all sorts of chemicals and plants, I finally realised that I do not need drugs to be happy or cool or whatever.

Drugs, however, could be occasional tools for altering our states of consciousness and for expanding our perspective. But when it becomes a need, like the case with addictive drugs, this is when one should rethink their life’s priorities. Opiated Then Hatin’ It is a recent piece about the matter. My Correspondence With a 31-Year-Old Reader Before He Passed Away is another.

So, the number one thing I got rid of is the need to take drugs.



2- Saying the Word ‘Hate’

I am not exactly sure what had fuelled this new habit. I just simply realised that ‘hate’ is quite a heavy negative word and that it is usually overused.

Ever since childhood, “I hate people who do this”. “I hate that vegetable.” “I hate this, I hate that.” We hear and use the word so often that it sort of loses its original meaning. But when you think about it, it’s a whiny thing to say; it’s a childish emotion, which essentially stems from fear. Why let something outside of you take control and get you to the point of hating? There is no reason to be disempowered in such a way.

What I might ‘hate’ are child-molesters, animal-abusers, women-beaters, rapists and the likes. Though I do not go around stating it. Because, when you realise that in this dual universe darkness will always exist, you are freed from the need to hate it. You may not agree with it, but you accept its existence, making you less prone to reaching that ‘hate’ emotion.

The only way to deal with evil in this world is to accept it. That’s the only way to set yourself free from the darkness. Because, again, darkness will never vanish; for that’s how the cosmos is balanced.

We do not fight the darkness, we light a candle.

You see, words as man-made symbols have distinct frequencies, which have the ability to alter our consciousness and create our reality. Just like magic, hence “to spell”. ‘Hate’ happens to be a strong low-frequency word — and a passionately intense emotion — and I’m doing great by kicking it out of my vocabulary.


3- Watching T.V. and Following the News


This one is a major game-changer. You actually have time, clarity, and energy to do more constructive things. I don’t read or listen or watch the news now. What I do, however, is create my own headlines — my own reality. You know it’s called Mass Media and T.V Programming for a reason.

Checking my Facebook feeds to find who got killed where and what went wrong how eventually gets too much if one wants to live a conscious life. I had stopped watching T.V six years ago and that was one of the best decisions I have taken in my life. Unfortunately, social media is now starting to play the same role... propagating fear and negativity. Check Are You Addicted To The News? to know the reason behind this fact.

Well, thanks but no thanks. I don’t deny such things exist in this dual world, but, I willingly choose to live away from all these low vibrations.



4- Cooking Every Day


When I went to Canada I was regaining my health after many years of poor diet and a toxic lifestyle. So I did care a lot about food since I had missed it — the taste, the smell, the variety, the colours, the natural feeling of hunger. Cooking became a new discovery and I fell in love with the creative part of it. 

However, after moving to the U.S later, I realised that I don’t need full meals every single day. Now a salad is a meal, an avocado is a meal, yoghurt with nuts and honey is also one. Naturally, I lost two waist sizes in a few months and I feel better than ever. You can read about it Here.



5- Trying to “Wake People Up”


Ah! When we open our eyes and see beyond all the illusions we’re surrounded by, we usually feel compelled, out of care, to open the eyes of others. But in reality, that’s not how it works. Everyone wakes at their own pace and that’s how it should be. Forcing it will never work. In fact, it can reverse the process and make people reject all notions of ‘awakening’.

Now, I don’t attempt to convince anyone with anything; neither do I attempt to change their minds. And what peace of mind have I gained.

The following quotes helped me overcome that compulsion to assume what’s best for others — despite remaining a challenge is some cases.


“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
― Rumi

“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
― Lao Tzu

“Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness. Your job is to simply do your work -- Sacredly, Secretly, and Silently -- and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear,’ will respond.”
― The Arcturians



6- Killing Insects


Teach your children that whenever a mosquito bites them or a fly lands on their food, they are only trying to feed and survive. This is the natural order of things in Life. There is nothing personal about it and there is no reason to freak out or to curse the insects.

This may seem a tad odd to some. But yeah, you read that right: No killing insects that I find at home, or anywhere else of course. When I have to, I catch and release them instead.

Living in a bungalow by the beach means the occasional visit from our cousins, the insects. I have written before on how a fly stuck in a room will always cooperate with us if we want to kick it out than if you want to kill it. Because it wants to live, it’s mere instinct. The same goes for other types of insects.

With that in mind, in those past several months I have given new lives to several moths, butterflies, spiders, ants, three mosquitoes, a bee among a few other species I never even knew existed. It sincerely is the last thing on my mind now is to reach for a repellent or a shoe whenever I bump into an insect. Because all sentient beings deserve to live in freedom.

You can check my earlier pieces about ants Here, Here, and There. Others are about Reviving a Drowning Bee and Befriending a Flying Insect. 


7- Worrying and Overthinking


They do not work. They create problems that were never there and drain our energy. Truly, they are like the measles. Yet, most people either live in the past or in the future. Those who dwell on the past are depressed; those who overthink the future are anxious. Only a few are able to enjoy their Here and Now; only them find peace of mind.

That said, dropping the worrying and overthinking was a preliminary step towards my peace and happiness. It is of significance to note that this healthy “not-giving-a-fuck” attitude is not solely about being care-free, but rather it’s about prioritising the things one cares about.



8- Driving


Uhu. After 17 years of daily driving and traffic and parking, I dropped the car. In Toronto, I was using subways and street cars; here in Venice I use the bike and Uber; and whenever I visit Egypt, it’s walking, cabs, and Uber as well. So not only do I save money on gas and parking, and avoid all that headache, but I now run on fat instead of money, which keeps one healthy and free. 

Whenever I want to go somewhere far, Uber is always there. If I need more, renting a car now costs $15 per day, truthfully. 




9- Controlling the Non-variables


In the Tao Te Ching, the famous ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu spoke of Wu Wei, which literally translates into “non-doing” or “non-action”. Wu Wei is an important concept in Taoism/Daoism that describes a seemingly paradoxical state of spontaneity called “effortless action”; how one learns to not try. Because that is when what you seek and what seeks you find each other. That is when the fun begins. The principle is equally essential to Confucianism. 

Wu Wei doesn’t necessarily mean to do nothing, but rather the doing becomes non-reactive. The action stems from responding instead of reacting. Just like nature ― without forcing it, everything is eventually accomplished.



“By not dominating, the Master leads.”

You see, we can only control the variables in our lives, but that’s it. How the universe unfolds with its causes and effects is que sera sera. As mentioned in point 7, obsessing about that which is gone or that which we know nothing of cannot take us too far.

Now, I taught myself how to be flexible and allow things unfold rather than resist or interfere with them. I do so by trusting my inner intents. This means accepting that uncertainty and the unknown are fundamental parts of life. And life has never been greater.

The Significance of Letting Go is an earlier piece of mine about the matter. Letting Go of Getting Offended and Taking Things Personally is another. 



10-


You probably expected a tenth point since that’s how list-articles usually look like in mainstream media, or almost everywhere else for that matter. Well, I’m rad like that and I choose to leave it empty.

Seriously, number 10 was left empty for you to add your own. Everyone of us has something(s) they know down deep inside they need to let go of. A memory, a habit, a relationship, whatever it is, there is no healing without letting go.

The thing is, it is only you who can let go. It is not someone else or outside factors; it is you who can set yourself free. For essentially, you are your own saviour as you are your own victim; the rest are mere excuses. Simply, because only you have that power. And you’re one decision away from changing any path that you’re on.


Despite all what was said, reckon that there is more to life than happiness. For it comes and goes and remains temporary. Happiness is a state of mind, hence trying to chase or seek it outside of oneself ― as a goal or destination ― rarely ever works. Conversely, truth, peace of mind, gratitude, empathy, and perhaps above all, love may then lead to happiness rather than the other way round.

“Let go or be dragged.”
— Zen Proverb

When we smile to life, it smiles back. Sometimes not right back,
but eventually it does.

ALSO VIEW:

My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence

 

Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer

A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum

 

Connecting the Dots — a Storyteller Way of Seeing the Big Picture  

The Significance of Letting Go

Dealing with High Awareness and Empathic Accuracy
 
To Forgive Is Not To Reconcile 

What Being Conscious Means

Who Are We?

Why I Share Stuff

 

Unfollow The Crowd  

How inspiration Is Transferable

Why We Should Not Fear Death

Change Is The Only Constant 

The Parable Of The Cow: You Are Not Your Thoughts

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: Reliving a One-Night Stand...13 Years Later

The story began when my buddy was in his early 20s and working for a five-star hotel — just as myself. He met a beautiful Lebanese woman who was about six years older than him, which made the whole experience worth its while.

After briefly talking a few times, he sent her some fruit amenities along with his business card to the room. Then after a few days, he was once doing the night shift when the lady left him a flower on his desk. He inquired about the flower and was told that it was from the guest of room X. He called the guest to say thank you, for her to ask him if he wanted to come get the full bouquet.

My buddy got it. He told her he would be glad to, then went to his car to pimp himself a little with some breath-freshener and cologne. Being the one in charge, he told the chief receptionist that he'll be ‘around’ and reachable on his mobile phone. This was by 2 a.m.


Once up, the lady opened the room door wearing a sexy négligée, showing her voluptuous body. She sat on the bed while he sat on the opposing chair as they chatted for a short while. Five minutes later, they were all over each other on the bed.

Of course they had to make sure that his suit and shirt are kept in a decent shape. So he neatly took them off first before joining the action. 

It felt so good and warm and naughty that the guy couldn't hold it for too long. He told her that, to which she replied:
“If it's that good and you can't hold it then you shouldn't.”

Ah, older women and some bed wisdom.

The act itself didn't last more than five or six minutes — a quickie, one would call it. But what a quickie that was. 

Another five minutes of talking then the young man wore his clothes, gave her a kiss, and went back to work...ecstatic.

The woman left the next day and that was that. The story remained one of his most thrilling  experiences.


Two years later, he got a call from her saying she was in town. However, they were not able to meet.

Two more years with the beginning of Facebook, my buddy decided to look for her. He was able to locate her and they became virtual friends.

Seven years have passed before one day she sent him a message saying that she'll soon be visiting the city he is in. He had already moved some long time ago and living elsewhere.

Of course he had no idea what to expect from that visit. After all, it's been 13 years. Looking back at that first night, he sure was a kid; and a whole lot has happened since then. But as usual, he thought to go along with the adventure-to-be.


As agreed, the woman, now in her mid 40s, came to visit. Despite a few extra pounds but she was still a hot MILTTT as he remembered her. The blonde hair, the pouty, sensuous lips and the stunning set of DD-cups were extra reminders. 

They spent two days together, slowly reliving that first, quick night. Everything went smooth with no awkwardness. They spoke a lot and shared what had happened to both of them through the long years. So much did, on both ends.

As for the leg over, the guy sincerely wanted to make it up and pay her back for that wonderful and memorable first encounter. So now that he's older and wiser and can last longer, that was precisely what he did.


They finally bid farewell, hoping to meet again before another 13 years.


Until the next adventure of my incognito friend.



ALSO VIEW:

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Italian Belly Dancer

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Stain on the Levi’s Shirt

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Girl Who Came

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Nine-Months-Pregnant Woman
 
Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The 17-Year-Old Lebanese Belly Dancer

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: Three Girls, One Perfume

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Sex Party

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: Threesome With Two Virgins

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: A Woman, Her Girlfriend, and the Girlfriend’s Friend

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Mother of Six Who Drove for 50 Hours

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: Another Sex Party 

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: Ten Days with a Charming Older Woman

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: The Neighbour’s Lustful Guest

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: 22 Years Later — Once Teenagers Now Adults

Memoirs of an Incognito Friend: Affair With an Older Married Woman

Who Are We?

Who are you, really? Have you ever thought about that? What makes us ‘us’? Is it the mere body, the nationality, religion, family name, number on the birth certificate — the things we’re born into? Or, this self-identification is something deeper at the core, which perhaps needs to be discovered along the way through our journey? 



Said inquiry had been in mind since my late teenage years. But because I was distracted by life and what it has to offer, I didn’t give it much attention and stored it in the subconscious part of my young mind. Years later, when I was able to shut the distractions, my mind was clear enough to ponder such existential topic.



The major reason I got the chance, and clarity, to become a dedicated psychonaut is leaving my comfort zone of familiarity and moving to the unknowns of a new country. At the age of 33, I left Egypt — were I was born and raised — to Canada. After three years there, I left again to the unknowns of the U.S. 



Venturing out of the bubble I was born into has taught me many lessons. 



One, is seeing through the veil of illusion; realising that we are all One, only separated by flags, books, beliefs, fears and egos. Not that I was some kind of bigot before, for I was lucky to have travelled around since I was a child. But living abroad is a totally different experience than travelling — even if you travel a few times a year. Having a new ‘home’ outside of your usual ‘home’ is what energises the equation. 



A second lesson is that everywhere has its beauty. All places are charming in their own unique way. It’s how we look at things what essentially matters. 



An additional realisation is that nothing too creative will come out of our comfort zone; for comfort is the enemy of achievement.

But possibly, the most beneficial inner truth I have come to own from living abroad, which relates to all other lessons, is getting to know who I truly am — my essence.


See, when we are born into this life, we usually keep doing what the elders have taught us. We mimic what their own elders have taught them. We become replicas of the parent generation, which is more or less a replica of their own parents’ generation. Some way or another, we take on parts of their identities and we persist into them until they become ours — forgetting our own individuality in the process. 

The remarkable thing in this process is that it quite subtle, as it happens unconsciously. You don’t actually sit down to think why you have become so much like your father or mother. It just happens gradually over the years without you, or them, realising it. You wake up one day finding yourself already there. This is the scary part.

The relief is, this person you were told to be by society is not who you are at the core. It is not your natural character, neither is it your final destination. But one thing is certain, he or she does not serve the evolution of your soul... or of our species. 

For we are not here on Earth to keep doing the same things in the same ways. We are here to innovate, not to imitate. We are here to add novelty by creating that which didn’t exist before. This is how we benefit humanity. This is the key to true immortality — creating something that lives on.

In fact, without deviating from the norm, even rebelling at times, there wouldn’t be any advancement. Throughout all of history, no one genuinely found themselves by following and adhering. They did so by embracing their individuality and challenging the dominant way of thinking; by standing out, not by fitting in.



To fundamentally know who we are, going against the mainstream paradigm and embracing solitude seems to be the way to go. Like travel, meditation among other esoteric practices also introduce us to our true, higher selves. So can psychedelics — why the experience is called a trip.


That said, the secret to self-transformation from who were told to be to who we genuinely are, or to any change for that matter, is not to confront or to fight the old paradigm. The key is to create a new paradigm which will make the old one obsolete.

Regarding one’s own mission in life, there is no fight, or race, or need to hurry as it’s commonly believed; only dedication, perseverance, and a healthy dose of creative rebellion. We are not required to disprove others’ realities and shatter their paradigms to create our own. 

The transformation, however, may be hindered if we are living within that old paradigm and surrounded by it. The reason being is because it is hard for those who adhere to the old paradigm to let go. Whether they are social customs, religious superstitions or family traditions, the average population is attached to old patterns like peas in a pod. In actual fact, they themselves are the batteries that feed the old patterns; without them, the whole paradigm would crumble.

Though when we carefully think about the average population, we realise that it is all they know. It is indeed scary to let go of such things which have been ingrained into us since childhood. To deprogram from the generations-old culture of embroilment into the matrix and desert the herd-mentality is a true challenge not many are ready to take. Oftentimes, they actually regard it as blasphemy or heresy to break away from the norm... their norm. That is because the unknown remains seemingly scary and uncomfortable for them. 

So as a defence mechanism, and as a chance to hold on, the average will always tend to resist the few who dare to desert the herd and break away from the norm. 

We, on the other hand, cannot have a creative mindset to create — reality, or art, or anything — and fight back at the same time. Scattering our energy in such a way is a waste. As mentioned earlier, there is no fight as there is no race. Staying away from the old patterns then appears to be the only wise thing to do if one is looking for newer patterns which accompany novelty and change.  

It is always vital to remember that we are not responsible for the conditioning we were exposed to during our childhood. But as adults we are fully responsible for fixing it. In truth, the day we learn how to think for ourselves and stop blaming anyone or anything for what happens in our lives is the day we’ll become forever free.


Once we venture and travel to different places, we leave the old and comfortable behind. We are exposed to newer paradigms — a significantly healthy thing. It gives us the chance to explore the unknown, experience its novelty, learn, grow, and evolve. It adds us with a novel perspective and enables us to create a newer, more suitable paradigm for oneself.

This is how our journey through life is enriched. This is how we fundamentally better from ourselves and evolve. This is how we create the reality we wish and not be stuck in someone else’s idea of reality.




As mentioned earlier, one of the reasons why living abroad makes us think about who we truly are is being away from the distractions. Naturally, when you live abroad your social circle is significantly smaller than where you were born and raised. Thus, the solitude and the feeling of being outside of the herd makes one contemplate such a deeply existential notion as our true identity.  



Whatever the answers that one may, or may not reach, the very idea of thinking about who you are adds you with a different perspective. It catalyses personal growth. Simply because when you see yourself in different scenes, scenarios, and situations you will come to realise that you’re doing fine; that there is nothing to fear; that the uncertainly which comes with the unknown could actually be fun.

If one is fortunate, at some point they will reach this aha-moment: I can make it here, like I have made it there... perhaps even better. They will then come to believe in themselves. And this is when everything changes for the better: That moment you realise that you can be successful away from the labels, away from the comfort of the tribe. This is one major enlightening realisation, which has an immense effect on our self-esteem and self-confidence

Another reason why personal-growth is catalysed by travelling is that we meet lots of very different people. We end by having fun stories to tell and weird moments to reminisce about. We consequently have newer memories and a richer life than, say, those who vegetate in one place all their lives as Mark Twain once put it. For the more we see, the more we know. 








Then when you genuinely know yourself, possibly after living outside of your comfort zone for a while, you eventually come to the conclusion that you can indeed make it alone. You realise that don’t need your nationality, religion, family name, or your birth certificate to feel safe, happy, or fulfilled. You get the see that before being unwillingly tagged when we are born, in essence we are human beings naked of all labels.

Whenever meeting a stranger, I never like, dislike, classify or judge them according to these labels — or any labels. That is because they are useless. In actuality, this illusion of separateness goes against the human condition. It is not about forgetting your roots, which should never be the case. But rather, it is about blooming into a full flower by reinventing yourself while remembering who you were.



I know I am me, now more than ever. I know I am not a label or a number or other things I did not willingly choose. Therefore it is nothing one should be proud of. It is not an achievement, nor is it an accomplishment. Your country is not “The greatest country in the world” and your religion is not “THE chosen one” because you were born in it. We have to realise that this is nothing but an infantile delusion.

Seeing the sperm which caused you as better than other sperms which caused other people because of a geographical haphazard happening means you choose to use your small, egoic mind to view the world. Unlike the big-picture view of the Higher Self, this way you are separating your self from all the rest of humanity by believing you are better than them, which, again, is a mere delusion. 

Before knowing who you authentically are at the core you get to know who you aren’t.
For knowing what you don’t want is a significant step towards what you do want.


As how I personally see myself, the closest would be is a soul having a human experience for some decades. I don’t feel any need to separate it from others. No matter how vile, ugly, or different they are. I remain you and what I see is me, no matter who you are.



If I have to self-identify a tad more, then I’m a cosmic traveller who happens to be a citizen of the Earth for a short while. I may also be an Eclectic Sapiosexual Philomath Lexophile Hedonist Psychonaut BoBo. Yet, these appellations are nothing but an attempt to have fun with language. They do not make me superior or inferior than anyone else. Because down deep inside, at the very core, we are all One — unlabelled. 



This is who I truly am. This is all I need to know for now.






The more you know yourself, 
the more following others’ experiences will seem futile. 
Through direct experience, self knowledge then becomes the journey 
during which our inner truth is found and owned. 
This Rabbit Hole is a bottomless pit, 
an everlasting endeavour guiding the soul 
as it keeps spiralling closer and deeper towards its inner core. Get into yourself and you will discover wonders.
 

Now who are you?


Check out My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence for a more detailed account of how it all transpired. Also A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum.

ALSO VIEW:


My Journey Towards Self-Transcendence

Theory of Mind: Thinking About Thinking and the Benefits of Observing the Observer

 

A Dialectic With Myself: Practical Yin Yang Approach to Coincidentia Oppositorum

 

The Intertwining of Pain and Pleasure

 
Why We Should Not Fear Death

Change Is The Only Constant

The Intertwining of Genius and Insanity 

Opiated Then Hatin’ It
 
Out-of-Body Experience and Ego Death on a “Heroic Dose” of Mushrooms 

The Writing Process and the Creative Block

Why I Share Stuff

For The Love Of Storytelling

The Great Pyramid’s Blessed Curse: Climbing To The Top And Beyond

Banged Up Abroad — My Few Days @ The Don Jail 

From English as a Third Language to Author — How I Expanded My Vocabulary

Surviving the Madness of Sakarana — Hyoscyamus muticus

Unfollow the Crowd

When Lady Ran Away

Today was the first time to go drumming alone by the beach since my hand injury. I took Lady the Shiba Inu who belongs to a bungalow-mate, the drum, and the bicycle and headed to a mini pier-like area between Santa Monica and Venice. The sun was coming down and everything was magical.


After about 20 minutes of blissful drumming, Lady decided to jump down from the elevated area into the sand. She cut the leash in the process and started running towards Santa Monica like a mad bitch. I followed her calmly but she kept sprinting ahead. I stood there in the middle of the beach, hoping that she would run into someone who would be able to hold her until I get there. This has happened a few days ago when we were running by the sea and touched the water when she houdinily escaped from the harness, which is something I never knew was possible. The neck collar yes, it happens sometimes when it’s loose. But the body harness, this was a first.



Anyway, so at some point Lady decided to turn around and run towards my direction, still frantically.
I thought that this was going to be the end of it. But she kept running past me and kept going further towards Venice.



Perhaps some reverse psychology might work. So I went back to the drum and thought that maybe if she’ll hear my drumming she’ll come back by herself. 



This is when a guy who had been sitting by that pier since earlier came towards me and handed me a one-dollar note. Mid my daze, I had no idea what was that about. 



“You’re too good, man” he said. “This is for playing.”

Oh. Thank you, it’s OK, I play for fun. Though I thought that if it was the week of A Dollar & Thirty Four Cents in Me Pocket and Feeling Fine, I would have probably taken it. 





Looking back at Lady on the horizon, I could see her pretty far. So I left the drum and the bike and followed her. Every now and then I see someone trying to hold her but she wouldn’t let them. I wave my arms and shout ‘Lady’ so that the people understand that I need help. But the doggie wasn’t showing any sign of stopping or trusting any stranger. She's not that much into strangers so she obviously wasn't going to start then.


I could see from afar a girl trying to communicate with Lady. By the time I got to them, the dog was still on the loose. The girl stayed with me for about 15 minutes, trying to corner the dog but to no avail. After a while, I felt bad so I told her thank you and that I’ll handle it myself. 



After 10 minutes, another girl just appeared out of nowhere, wanting to help out. She kept trying to talk to the dog, even run after her. But Lady was in some kind of automated mode and kept dashing off. 





My main issue was that I had to leave the bike and the drum unattended to follow her. To make matters worse, I didn’t have a lock for my bike — someone at home must have removed it and I only found out when I got to the beach. So as she kept going further towards Venice I was torn between both sides. The drum was right there, so was the bike. So that was a pretty easy catch. 



On the other hand, thoughts of losing Lady, or any dog for that matter, started to loom on my mind’s horizons. She’s not even mine, which made me start imagining calling her owner:
Hey buddy, today at the beach lady just cut the leash and started running and now she’s lost.
I even had a flash in my head of those ‘LOST DOG’ notes we see on lamp posts. 

What a nightmare.


It was also about to get dark in less than half an hour and I had to act fast.

First, I found myself too far from my belongings so I thought that I had to go back. One the way, I started to weight out the options. Calling the cops who could help with their vehicles was a first thought. Then I remembered I don’t have my phone. Well, I could always use someones' to dial 911. Then again, maybe it would be easier or faster to just find a police car around the beach, they are always around. 



It took me about 10 minutes of light jogging to get back to the mini pier and luckily the bike and drum were still there. I got on the bike and moved towards Venice using the walkway as I scanned the horizon for a running dog. Finally, I saw her and…I could also see a moving silhouette close by. So, I left the bike and the drum on the sand and started running towards them.

“Lady,” I shouted and waived for them to know where I am.



As I went closer I realized it was the same girl — the second one. I thanked her as we tried to encircle the dog, but again, to no avail.



I was really starting to lose patience then, for it has been about 45 minutes of running around the beach. I thought that if I’m starting to get tired, this one-year-old pup must be even more tired. We both had our morning jog earlier on that same day. 



At the time, there was three other people close by whom I asked if they can form a human wall to block the way and prevent her from running. They stood for a moment but then, not wanting to be cornered, she started running again in the other direction towards Venice. Apparently, she still had some energy.



Hm.



Hello?!

Again, I thought of the bike and drum which I left on the sand, though right by the boardwalk. It was getting dimmer by the minute so I thought I would go back and maybe follow her on the bike as I did before. The kind girl was still following her. 



Another few minutes on the bike and I could spot their silhouettes from afar. To be safer, this time I thought of venturing more into the beach before I leave the bike and drum. It was getting seriously dark.

The girl was close to her at the time. “Lady! Hi Lady,” I sat on the sand while trying to change my tone of voice from shouting to a loving one.


It was then when I finally saw two Police vehicle approaching us from each side of the beach. When the one coming from the Venice side came closer, I started waving my hands in the air. 

I explained my dilemma to them so they took a small cruise around us, trying to block her way.



This was when I instinctively put my hand in my pocket and got out a roll of white tape that I use for drumming and said “Where’s the ball?” exactly as I say it when we play with the actual white golf ball in the garden. She bought it and I could see her attention focused on the ‘ball’.

 I still have no idea where that light bulb suddenly came from — probably from a desperate place.

Then, I threw the roll on the sand, pretending I’m about to shoot it with my foot. Again, as I usually do. “Where’s the ball? Huh”



She was coming closer and closer but I didn’t want to make any sudden moves. Another fake shot and she was even closer then, all her attention was on the ‘ball’. Then BAM I held her from the back of the neck just like a fox that she is and carried her in my hands.

Phew.



I turn around, expecting a round of applause from the officers but I didn't find them. Those helpful ones were already by the boardwalk. They must have left about a full minute ago. Well, thanks for the help, guys. 
I believe this was my last chance; if I were not successful then I'm not so sure what could have happened. It was almost pitch black then.

I then looked at the spot where I had left the bike and someone is moving with it on the sand, they are holding my drum too. That’s really heavy load. As I went closer, I could see that it’s the same girl carrying my stuff to give it to me. The hat and the flip-flop too. Waow.



“Thank you so much. Angels are all around us, as they say,” I said smilingly. 
“I'm glad I could help. I know how it feels.”



We tied the torn leash on Lady and headed back towards the boardwalk as we chatted a little. I found out that she lives by the beach so I asked her to come join us at the Drum Circle. I thanked her again and we bid farewell.

I'm so grateful for this guardian angel. I'm seriously not sure what could have transpired without her.




After all I went through, going home on the bike with a torn leash and a crazed dog made me think of all sorts of scenarios. What if in the middle of the street she just decides to somehow run away. What if she’s then ran over by a car.

Actually, I changed route and took a less busy street because of these nasty thoughts. If she was a bit smaller I would have kept her in the front basket of the bike.

Finally, we made it home. I couldn’t help but to say: “Bad Girl” a few times while slightly spanking her on the popo. I didn't, however, overdo it since we should never punish a runaway dog after (for) coming home. If you do choose to punish them after running away, more likely when it happens again they will be afraid to come back to the punishment, so they won't.

In fact, we should always give our canines good reasons to come back home — some petting, a praise, or a treat work out great.



I was colder than usual and didn't give her much attention for a couple of hours. During that time I reflected upon why this has happened.

I already knew how stubborn Shiba Inus could get, even hard to train. Titles like Shiba Inu will never surrender even when all is lost, and Shiba has the heart of a rebel are quite common online. 

This time, I came to experience this hard-head myself.

I was reminded by a similar incident involving my late dog Caramella in Toronto. I was going away for a few days and left her with a neighbour. I got into the car and they were in the garden. I was told later that Caramella ran after the car for a whole block until the neighbour was able to catch up with her.

 So freaking out that she's alone made her chase the car.

I was equally reminded by having to chase some other dogs around the garden or park when they wouldn't listen. Though it wouldn't last more than 10 minutes and then reverse psychology usually wins at the end



The reasons why some dogs behave this way vary.

Some because they have extra energy and are not getting enough play or outdoor time. For Lady, this may be one of a multitude of reasons, since her owner is always at work so she doesn’t get the appropriate time at the park or elsewhere.

Another related reason is that dogs do get lonely, bored, and consequently depressed. Running away is simply one way to express such feelings. I believe this is also the case with Lady. This seems like a natural reaction after her owner moved to another place and left her with me. The big, wide sandy beach is sure the best playground to get her frustrations out.

A third reason why dogs run off is to mate. Though this is more of a male behaviour.

Generally speaking, a runaway dog is usually not happy at home. To leave the comfort, the familiarity, and the love they are supposed to be getting for the unknown, they must have convincing reasons to do so.


In conclusion, dogs are social animals. They need to connect with nature and other dogs as much as possible. They also need to stay engaged; some with physical exercise, others with puzzle toys, or both. Those who are always kept at home lose their heads from loneliness and boredom and end up with psychological issues. Just like us humans, dogs need to keep busy at least for a few hours a day.

Watch Lady hilariously howling back to her ancestors, a pack of wolves, shown in a YouTube video. 



ALSO VIEW:

Things I wish All Dog Owners Would Understand

A Diew Caramella

Dog Lovers: Reflections On Training a Gentle Giant

A Dollar & Thirty Four Cents in Me Pocket and Feeling Fine 

Personal Questions I’m Often Asked and Their Answers

The Ashram Sweeper Who Blocked Me on Facebook

The Bloke Who Thought I’m Too Much of an Alpha Male

The Girl Who Wouldn’t Share Toilet Paper

Not Sleeping With a French Hooker at 14

The Spell of the Topless Redhead 

The Night We Turned ‘Beast Mode’ On

The Night I Became a Stripper

The Day I Became Bill Gate’s Elevator Boy

Placebo Effect & The LSD Prank

The Joy of Being a Wanderer and the Credit Card Number

I Kissed a Grandma... and I Liked It

When The Puppies Ate The “Chocolate”