One Lucky Soul: December 2012

Silliest Inventions of the 20th Century by Omar Cherif, One Lucky Soul

Human imagination can usually go far and wide, but some inventions
can also be quite unnecessary. Check out the following hilarious collection
from the past century.

The featured photo pictures inventor John H T Rinfret demonstrating his
anti-bandit bag in 1963. To fool the bandits, the chain is pulled and the bottom
of the case falls out so the content is scattered over the ground.
This should stop those damn muggers from getting at what’s in the bag.
No wait, it won’t.

Curved Barrel Machine Gun, 1953

This M3 sub-machine gun with a curved barrel for shooting around corners.
It’s the perfect gun for your average “shoot first, look later” kind of guy.
They do, however, have similar weapons today, but equipped with
cameras and high-tech sensors.

Hubbard Electrometer, 1968

American science fiction writer and founder of the Church of Scientology L. Ron Hubbard uses
his Hubbard Electrometer to determine whether tomatoes experience pain. His work led him to
the conclusion that tomatoes "scream when sliced". I seriously cannot Ketchup with those guys.

Cup Bras, 1949

Charles L. Langs poses with his strapless, backless, wireless, support-less bras.
His wife doesn't look too supportive though; she seems unenthusiastic.

Finnish Portable Sauna, 1962

Finish with the Finnish. Something similar still exists though.

Baby Cage, 1937

A nanny supervising a baby suspended in a wire cage attached to the
outside of a high tenement block window. The cages were distributed to
members of the Chelsea Baby Club in London who have no gardens —
or doubts about putting a child in a box dangling over a busy street. Genius.

Laryngaphone, 1929

A man at a shipping exhibition in Olympia, London, demonstrating the
'“Laryngaphone”, a noise-excluding telephone which only transmits
vibrations from the vocal chords when the microphone is placed against
the throat or cheek. Where are those today when we need them the most?

Motorized Surfboard, 1948

Hollywood inventor Joe Gilpin riding his motorized surfboard. Yey! Lots of fun.
Just like a water Segway.

Rainy Day Cigarette Holder, 1954

President of Zeus Corp., Robert L. Stern, smoking a cigarette from his
self-designed rainy day cigarette holder. Bwilliance in a puff. He must had
been living in Cilaos, Réunion where it almost never stops raining, you see.

Rocket Belt, 1961

Engineer Harold Graham salutes President Kennedy after demonstrating the
Rocket Belt. Jet-pack!

Honegar, 1959

Inventor of a honey and vinegar mixture, called Honegar,
Dr. DeForest C. Jarvis. Honegar was said to be a folk remedy
for aches and pains. Though honey AND vinegar are already good
for pretty much everything.

Illuminated Tires, 1961

A woman adjusts her stocking by the light of the Goodyear’s illuminated tires.
The tire is made from a single piece of synthetic rubber and is brightly lit by
bulbs mounted inside the wheel rim. I guess those could look cool but probably
the functionality was dimwitted.

Shower Hood, 1970

For the woman who likes to put makeup on her dirty face. Or for a bee lover.

Cigarette Pack Holder, 1955

Yep. Let me play you the music of my people.

Handwriting Game, 1955

A handwriting game being analysed by members of the Ideal Toy panel
on Inventor’s Day at the Ideal Toy Company in Hollis, New York.
Because there’s nothing children love more than handwriting games.

Fast-Draw Robot, 1960

Robot equipped with fast-draw invention shoots it out with live gunner.
It’s always easy to question the wisdom of giving a robot a gun, but
also making him quick on the draw is just lovely. How original.

Yodel Meter, 1925

Two girls try out the new yodel meter, which measures the pitch of the human
yodel. Yodelayheehoo.

Mini Television, 1966

British inventor Clive Sinclair shows off his mini television. Noting the
thickness of Tintin’s glasses, it’s really all a matter of perspective.
Well, people today do watch videos on their phones.

Flying Platform, 1956

Flying platforms being tested at an Air Force base. Jet-pack!

Beating Breasts, 1963

A pair of artificial breasts with a built-in heartbeat. An invention from
— wait for it — Japan intended as a sleeping aid for very young children.
For teenage boys and adult males as well, I’m sure.

Venetian Blind Sunglasses, 1950

An example of a pre-psychedelic era invention @#$%^&* Bang Bing !@#Ayee

Birdman Suit, 1955

Birdman Leo Valentin demonstrates his method of flying from a special harness.
Valentin died when his invention failed him after jumping out of an airplane in
1956. R.I.P, Birdie NumNum. You’re always flying now.

Phone-Answering Robot, 1964

A robot designed by Claus Scholz of Vienna answers the phone, though it
cannot speak. Halfway there, Claus. Answer machine level: -17.

Baby Holder, 1937

Neat! Jack Milford, player with the Wembley Monarchs ice hockey team,
has invented a carrying device so that his baby can join his wife and himself
... on the ice. Because babies deserve it .That’s why.

Sea-Shoes, 1962

Inventor M W Hulton demonstrates his sea-shoes and duckfoot propellers
on the Grand Union Canal, England. These guys had a serious
misunderstanding of what water fun really is.

TV Glasses, 1963

Inventor Hugo Gernsback with his T.V. Glasses. His youngest son works for
Google now. Wink.

Cat-Mew Machine, 1963

This mechanical cat can meow ten times a minute and the eyes
light up each time. The device for scaring rats and mice is from
Japan and is powered by a two-watt motor. It’s always them and cats, huh.